Eulogy for Manny Seidel

About 4 years ago Joan made an 80th birthday party for Manny, in Florida. It was a nice party, with a lot of people who knew Manny, but who probably didn’t know much about him, since he was not one to talk much about himself. So, I took the opportunity to make a little speech, telling a few stories and saying some complimentary things about him. Afterwards, he came over to me and said, “That was really nice…..I hope you saved something for the eulogy”.

Dad – Here’s the stuff I saved for the eulogy…..

Manny was born in the Bronx in 1926, the youngest of 7 children. His father was a carpenter by trade, but Dad never knew him because he died when Manny was only a year old. His two older brothers, Philip and Arthur, were much older than him, and were married and out of the house during his childhood. Three of his sisters, Rose, Betty and Anna, were closer to him in age, and I think it is accurate to say he was raised by his mother (who did not speak English, just Yiddish) and his three sisters. Having known Aunt Rose, Aunt Betty and Aunt Anna, I know there was no shortage of talking going on in the house. I guess Manny HAD to be a good listener, and he was, but he also learned how to carry on a great conversation. He has always been someone you could talk to about anything and everything.

Manny is the last of his brothers and sisters to pass. I did a little math – the descendants of the 7 Seidel children total approximately 90 (I could be a little off because I don’t speak to cousin Naomi as often as I’d like) More than one of my cousins has noted that Manny was the “Last of the Mohicans”. I think his passing brings forth memories of all our parents, and all the times, good and bad, that we shared. Now our generation is at the top of the ladder. We accept this, knowing we were shown the proper way by outstanding people.

Although Manny was not a bad student, he dropped out of high school to go to work. As a teenager, in addition to working, he helped care for his mother, who had a chronic bleeding condition. One of the things he attended to on a regular basis was paying his mother’s debt to the blood bank, by going down to the Bowery and paying bums $5 for blood donations. When he would tell me about this, in vivid detail, it sounded like something out of a Charles Dickens novel. The last time he told me about it, I thought about a few things……one, from the details of the story, it was surely true; two, I always thought of it being a “story”, but when I realized it was not just a story but a part of his teenaged life (that he was still talking about 70 years later) it struck me how difficult his childhood and teenaged years really were.

Having grown up without a father……..being a good father was VERY important to him. He had no role model, so he always did what he thought a good father should do……teach your children how to do things, and show them proper values. A lot of people know that Manny was a very active coach for Brian and I, in Little League and other organized sports. What people may not know, is that when he was a coach, he wasn’t there just to coach US, he wanted to be the coach and father figure to ALL the boys on the team. He especially gravitated to boys who either didn’t have a father at home, or whose father was not coming to the games. If anyone ever thought that Manny played favorites with Brian and I when he was a coach, nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, and he would often say this, he went out of his way to coach ALL the boys,

I am convinced that he stayed at a certain crummy, low-paying job because it had one nice perk…..a light blue van that he was allowed to take home on weekends. This was of course used to take entire teams to our baseball games. Manny was in his glory when we took that van and picked up 5 or 6 boys on the way to Kissena Park or Park Drive East or wherever we played.

I wanted to say something appropriate about my Mom, and Dad’s married life with her. When you look back at something, how you process your thoughts and memories becomes the truth. Something my parents had in common (which I am glad I learned) was the ability to focus on the positive. So, while one could simply recall that my parents had problems they could not resolve, and that they were divorced after 20 years, neither of them would say it that way, and neither would I. I remember our house being happy and full of love. I know Manny remembered it that way, and after he and I talked about it a few times, I knew I wasn’t engaging in wistful recollection, it was true.

Dad placed a high value on what he called “brothers acting like brothers”. There were few things he preached about, but this was something Brian and I always knew was important to him….the idea that brothers should stick together and help each other. It would be inconceivable to either one of us not to abide by this.

I know how proud Manny was of all Brian’s accomplishments . We have a little private family joke that in Florida, I’m known as “the other son”. When I made this observation the first time, Dad got a little flustered and said, “You know I’m proud of you too, right?” Trust me Dad, I knew it.

We experienced some of the greatest times and memories together……I remember driving to Pocono Downs for Brian’s first win as a trainer, it was a rainy night and the horse (Master Vilas) won by a large margin. In the picture of the horses coming down the stretch, you can see Manny and I running through the stands like two lunatics.

Some of our horse adventures weren’t so much fun when they happened, especially the time Manny and I were driving to Delaware to watch the immortal horse “El-Pace-O-Widow” race at Dover Downs. While driving on 95 South in Jersey, the hood on one of Manny’s old bomb cars flew open in our faces, forcing us to drive while looking out the sides around it. We got to Dover Downs after 5 hours, the horse broke at the start, and we turned around and drove back. I wouldn’t trade a day like that for anything

Manny was never a person who was defined by his career, and in some ways I think he was disappointed in himself. During his life he was an assistant to the owner of a high-end furniture company, a warehouse manager, a shipping clerk in the garment center, and then in Florida he was a security guard (the two high points of this job were that the golfer Bernhard Langer lived in the development and knew Manny’s name, and that he once rescued a dog from a ditch). In Florida he also worked at an eye hospital, driving people home after surgery, and he worked for an auto mechanic, driving customers to work and helping out in the shop. He once told me it bothered him that he was not “successful”. I had an easy answer to that one, which was it depends how you define “success”, and I proceeded to describe a long list of his successes. We had this conversation more than once, and I do think he came to know it was true. If I helped him to see this, I am eternally thankful.

Manny was very proud of his role in Joan’s family. Jeff and Debbie were adults when he became part of their family, and I know (because he told me) that he knew he would never replace someone’s father, nor would he want to. He only wanted to be there in any way that he could. However, he had no hesitation being the grandpa to Brian, Rachel and Elisa, and a great-grandpa to their children. He loved being with them, talking about them, and doing things with them. And just like when I was a kid, I never minded sharing him.

Brian and I have tremendous gratitude to Joan, for making Manny happy for so many years, and for giving him the type of life he would never have otherwise had. He loved living (and working) in Florida, having friends, playing tennis, playing golf, going to movies and shows, rooting for the Marlins (I learned to accept this) going on cruises and trips, and being a part of someone else’s life and having her be a part of his.

Many of you know that in December, Manny, Brian and I took a trip to Las Vegas together. Besides the laughs, and the gambling, and the shows, and the meals, there are a few things about it that I did not realize would be so meaningful. The itinerary was for Brian to spend a few days with Dad in Florida, then they’d fly together to Vegas, where I would meet them. Manny and Brian had a great time together in Florida. While we were in Vegas, Brian’s daughter Robin drove in from LA, and we shared a nice dinner and breakfast the next day. After the trip, Manny stayed with us in New York for a few days, and it was nice and relaxing. The entire trip was conceived as one of those “I don’t want to some day say I shoulda” situations, and the feeling now, having done it, is beyond words. All I can say is, if you are ever in that situation, and you think you SHOULD do it….DO IT

When Manny stayed with us the last time, I noticed what a real bond he had with Felicia, and Emilie, and Rebecca. He thought the world of Felicia, and was in awe of everything Emilie and Rebecca were doing. Girls…..Pop-Pop will always be a part of who you are. It made me so happy to see that my girls really GOT what Manny is all about. I am proud that they know, and value, the things that really count.


OK……..so……..I want to be a “real” writer, and do something real writers do, a reading of my work to an audience. I haven’t done that ……. YET, ……..but yet is now……so thank you Dad, for not only giving me inspiration, and giving me great material, thank you for giving me a captive audience for my reading……

This is called "Going to Aqueduct with Dad"

Every May, I watch (and bet on) The Kentucky Derby. It's my favorite sporting event of the year. Better than the Super Bowl, better than the Final Four. I don’t watch the two hour pre-race build-up, I read a few stories in The Post, call up Dad to see who he likes, then bet my selections, and watch the race. I've hit a few nice longshots over the years, most notably Charismatic and Monarchos.


My love of horseracing started with....


GOING TO AQUEDUCT WITH DAD

Sometimes on a Saturday, my Dad would suggest that he and I "head over to The Big A". Since I was only 7 years old, he wasn't saying this to me, he was saying it to my Mom. I wonder if taking me along made this activity more palatable to her. The first few times he said it, I worried that she would say no, but she never did. After a few times, I knew that when he suggested it, we were going.

The Big A is "Aqueduct", a race track in Ozone Park, Queens. It's where the thoroughbreds race in New York when they are not at Belmont or Saratoga. A workingman's racetrack.


















We never parked in the parking lot, always in the street about a mile away. "Why should we pay to park?", my Dad said. So we walked through Ozone Park, past little houses and Italian grocery stores. When we got inside, Dad bought a program and a Daily Racing Form. The program was small but impressive, it gave you the basic information about each race: the horse names and post positions, the trainers, the owners, the jockeys (including their weights and "colors"). Dad told me that when we picked a horse to bet on, to remember the jockeys colors, especially his cap, so we could see him in the backstretch. There were 9 races a day, with about 24 minutes between races. We used that time to "study our selections". The program was just for looking, while the Daily Racing Form was for studying. It had tons more info than the program, including the charts of each horses prior races. I learned how to read it pretty well. You had to look at the distances, times, surfaces, class, weights, jockey changes, trainer changes, and many other factors. Both the program and the racing form had a little "map" showing you where the starting and finish line were for the particular distance. I always liked a 7 furlong race at Aqueduct, because the horses started "in the chute", and the chart showed that.










We always went and looked at the horses and jockeys in the walking ring, before they went on the track. There was a ritual to this. The horses would be walked around, while the jockeys would stand talking to the trainers. The jockeys would wear different colors for each race, with different colors for different parts of their attire, the program would tell you...."red cap, yellow sleeves, red sashes, polka dot hoops". I would always check that they had it right. Dad told me about some of the jockeys. Our favorite was Braulio Baeza. He was from Panama, and although I did not know it then, he was one of the greatest jockeys of all time. I only knew what Dad told me, "Look at Braulio Baeza, he sits on a horse straight and tall and proud. No other jockey sits like him." It was true.

I always looked at Braulio Baeza first, to make sure he was sitting straight and tall. The other jockey I liked was Manuel Ycaza. There were three reasons I liked him. People called him "Manny", his last name started with a "Y", and he rode aggressively. Several times I read in the racing form that he was suspended for "rough riding". I always hoped to see a race where he did that. According to my Dad, some jockeys were "good on the turf", some were better with sprinters than closers, and some jockeys rode well for certain trainers. Who knew if any of this were true? Who cared? When the horses were ready to go on the track, the jockeys would walk over to their horses, and a booming voice would call out "Put your riders up, please." At that moment all the trainers would give their jockeys "a leg up" and hoist them up on the horse. Then they would walk once around the walking ring and head to the track.....to the sound of the bugle.














We would follow, Dad would "make his wager", and then we would watch the race from our special vantage point. We had a stairway bannister leading to the upper grandstand. It was right on the finish line, and we would stand on the bannister and look over with a perfect view. I stood near the top, with Dad to my left, a little further down the bannister. We would wait for the magical voice of the track announcer, Fred Caposella, to say "It is now post time". And then we would watch the race and hopefully root our horse in.

In horse racing, you can't win every time. In fact, it's difficult if not impossible to win in the long run. We took our defeats in stride, and felt pride in our winners.

The experiences of going to Aqueduct with Dad have stayed with me....... Whenever I visited Dad in Florida, we always went to the track....there's a shocker. When I pick horses now, I focus on the jockeys, though I have never liked any as much as I liked Braulio Baeza and Manny Ycaza.When I take Rebecca to Met games, we park on the street in Corona, and walk a mile to the stadium, past little houses and bodegas. I'm not paying $18 to park, and for some strange reason, this feels like the right thing to do.

When it's the first Saturday in May, I watch the Kentucky Derby. And I always will…..and root my horses in with Dad.

Felicia's Eulogy for Manny Seidel

The night before Dad's funeral, while I was working on my eulogy, Felicia told me she was thinking of doing one too. I was surprised, pleased, and very proud that she wanted to do this. We kicked around a few ideas and themes, so we would not be repetitive, and agreed not to edit each other, but to hear them for the first time as they were read. This is what she said....

FELICIA'S EULOGY FOR MANNY SEIDEL

I just wanted to say a few things and then I will let my eloquent husband deliver the eulogy for Manny. As most of you know I have known Barry for a very long time, and over the years I have been so fortunate to witness a very special relationship between the boys, Barry, Brian and Manny. The love and respect and fun and laughs they had with each other was amazing. You don't see relationships like that very often.

In December the three of them got together for a trip to Las Vegas. Manny and Brian had never been to Vegas and they had a terrific time together, seeing shows, eating, and of course gambling. They had been planning to plan this trip for quite a while - it was great that they finally stopped planning and actually took this very special trip. Barry wrote all about the trip on his blog, and let me note that Manny has been one of Barry's favorite blog topics. He has written about him 11 times.

After Vegas Manny stayed in our house for a few days before going back to Florida. He spent time with me and Emilie and Rebecca. We enjoyed cake and coffee (he loved cake), and we talked about all kinds of things. We are so grateful for that time - we had no idea it would be the last time we would see him.

I would like to share something.......About 4 or 5 years ago, close to Barry's birthday, Manny and Barry were having one of their long telephone conversations. Manny said something like "You know if I don't send birthday cards that doesn't mean I don't love you - You understand that I just have never sent cards." Barry proceeded to tell Manny about his most recent blog piece, called "The Power of Yet", which talks about the most powerful three letter word in the English language - Y-E-T. The main idea is that if you have negative or limiting thoughts, like "I don't exercise" or "I don't know how to use a computer" - if you add YET to that sentence it opens a world of possibilities. Barry suggested to Manny that maybe he just didn't send cards YET. Then they continued to talk about other things. A few days later, on Barry's birthday, he received a handpicked card from Manny, with baseball pictures on the front, and inside Manny wrote "Dear Barry - YET IS NOW".

Every subsequent year Barry has received cards on his birthday and as you can see he has saved them.

I was thinking of something philosophical to say to close, but I’m going to read from the inside of one of Manny's cards because I think this will sum up nicely......

"Dear Barry - From a Little League coach to coach for a goal in life - Yet is Now is good, but 3 keys to reaching your goal:

1. You must want to.

2. You must be consistent.

3. Set short term as well as long term goals.

Stolen directly from a diet.

Love - Pop Pop - The Old Dad - or Carmine -Take your choice."

Terminal Self-Importance

Part of being an effective lawyer, and an effective client advocate, is understanding the forum where your case will be heard. The Court system is not just "the Judge" or "the jury", it is also law clerks, court attorneys, and other court personnel who are the gatekeepers for all the cases trying to be heard. If you can't get past the gatekeepers, you will not be heard.

To be an effective lawyer, and an effective client advocate, I have to ask my new clients lots of questions. I have to find out all the pertinent facts, and I have to figure out what is motivating the bad people to do the things they are doing. Yes, sometimes they are just bad and greedy, but even the bad and greedy have reasons (or at least, reasons they think they can get away with it), and I want to figure this out.

Sometimes I take a big risk and play "devils-advocate" with my new clients, and speculate on the opponents arguments (Warning to young lawyers - while this may make perfect sense from your perspective, it can be a very dangerous technique). When I speculate on the opponents arguments, I always use a big disclaimer, something like "THIS DOESN'T MEAN I AM AGAINST YOU". Most clients understand this, but some will respond with "Hey, whose side are you on?" These discussions ARE helpful in understanding your own clients, and how well they grasp the realities of the legal world.

Sometimes it seems that clients think what I do is.....I listen to their side of their claim......I become inspired by the righteousness of it.......I run over to the courthouse and tell "the Judge" about it......and the Judge stops all other business so he can extract the money being withheld from my clients by the wrong-doers........and for this little bit of "work" I want to be paid exorbitant fees.........(oh - and I do this every day, to insure my extravagant lifestyle).


I call this type of thought process "terminal self-importance". In the course of interviewing a client on a new matter, and in deciding whether I want to get involved in it, (note: if you don't realize that during the interview I am deciding whether I want to get involved, and it isn't only about fees....you probably have some TSI going on) I try to assess whether the client has a realistic understanding of what actually happens in Court. Things like:

- There are so many cases in most courts, that the Judge CANNOT recall the details of each case when it is before the Court. Usually, if I have a pre-trial conference, attended by my adversaries and the Judge, the first thing the Judge will say is "What's this about?"

- When a motion is made regarding some aspect of a case, there are generally MANY other motions being heard that day. The motion is usually conferenced with the Judge's Clerk, who puts a lot of pressure on the attorneys to resolve the issues without the Court having to do it. This doesn't mean the Judge or the clerks are lazy or indifferent (though some are), the reality is there are many cases with serious issues, and one (yours) may not particularly stand out.

- You usually cannot proceed in Court without all the interested parties being notified, and without the interested parties being heard. Most Courts and Judges go out of their way to adhere to this one, often to the frustration of the terminally self-important, who need to win NOW.

- As outrageous as the issues in your case may be, they are surely not the most outrageous thing the Court has heard......that week. As an attorney I know this, because they are also generally not the most outrageous thing I have heard (that week) either. This does not mean I don't care, or that I will not give my all towards solving the problem. By having perspective, and knowing the Court's perspective, I will know how to have the case heard (and resolved) in the best way possible.


Terminal self-importance can, and should, be addressed early in the attorney-client relationship. My advice to fellow attorneys is: If you see it and can't at least discuss it, BEWARE. And....make a clear fee agreement and stick to it, clients with TSI will make you earn it!

Trip to Vegas......Part 4

A few more highlights of the trip were:

- My niece Robin and her boyfriend Steve drove in from L.A., and we went out with them for dinner, and then breakfast the following morning.

- I used the GPS in my Blackberry with great success throughout the trip, except once when I put in an address for a breakfast place as "530 South Decatur" when it should have been "530 North Decatur", and we ended up in front of a shack in the desert.

- The weather was in the 40's and raining the whole time, but it did not matter.

- At one point I realized that Brian was really good at helping Manny get dressed, groomed and out the door because basically, this is what he has been doing with his horses for the last 30 years.

- I didn't play poker during the trip because it would have been too isolating. Watching basketball games and betting on horse racing with the boys was much more fun.

- One night at dinner, just after we had all played craps, Manny stated that he did not like the way one of the women threw the dice, because "when someone throws the dice too hard, high numbers come out". I pointed out that this was mathematically impossible, but he insisted it was so. I decided not to press the issue, remembering that earlier in the day I had told Brian "Don't hit the chips when you roll, whenever you do you'll roll a 7."

- One night we ate at an excellent seafood buffet. Brian and I loaded up our plates with all kinds of seafood, and a few minutes later Manny sat down with a piece of prime rib. I saw him cutting and cutting and nothing was happening. As Brian and I were about to get up for more food, Manny hadn't eaten bite one. He looked at us and said "I ordered the wrong thing." Brian and I said together "It's a fuckin' buffet!!!", and without a word we went up and loaded several plates of seafood, which we all then shared.

- In hindsight, I should have taken more pictures, but here are a couple:

Brian and Manny getting ready.

It's safe to say that gambling had either just happened, or was about to....or both.

At the end of the trip we all flew back to New York, and Manny stayed with me for a few days before flying back to Florida. The day after we got home he said to me, "You made us a great trip. I was thinking that if we had done this trip when I was 20 or 30 years younger, it would have been different, maybe wild and crazy. But I loved the trip the way it was, being with my boys."

I loved it too Dad.

Trip to Vegas.....Part 3

One of the unexpected highlights of our trip was a visit to Fremont Street. This is the downtown "Old Vegas" area, away from the strip. I had heard it was nice, so I looked up a restaurant in the area, and figured we'd eat and then check things out. What I did not know was that Fremont Street is like a domed stadium, with casinos and stores all along the walking area, and a roof where they have spectacular light shows. After a finger lickin' dinner of Tony Roma ribs, we saw the "American Pie" light show. Here is a youtube clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDacQmFv4zc&feature=related What was especially enjoyable, was that the streets were crowded with enthusiastic people, all singing and dancing to American Pie.

Since we were there in early December, there was a big Christmas tree and a nice band.








Here we are.....Barry, Manny and Brian on Fremont Street.










Another sightseeing thing we did was check out "The Venetian" hotel. Like many of the Vegas hotels on the strip, it has a gimmick.....it simulates Venice. As you walk around, there are canals, and gondoliers, and shops, and a "fake sky" over head. It's not Venice, it's not romantic, it's not "European", but its VERY cool.


At one point we passed what appeared to be a statue, but was actually a human being. I guess it's "art" or something. I went up and had my picture taken with her, and although she stayed in character, I asked her to flirt with my Dad, and she winked at me. When we all went up for a picture, she stayed frozen, but tickled Manny's palm.




While walking around the Venetian, Manny said "my feet hurt because my shoes are no good". These are the white shoes shown in the picture. I said, "What kind of shoes do you want?" He said, "Brown Rockports, with velcro instead of laces. I heard Rockports were comfortable." It surprised me that he actually had an opinion about this. About 5 minutes later, we turned a corner and there was a Rockport store. I ran in and said, "Do you have brown Rockports, with Velcro?" Pretty stupid question, I admit, and the guy replied "Yeah, it's a Rockport store." So, we three men shopped for shoes for Manny, with the whole transaction taking 5 minutes, including trying on and walking around. We were all proud of our accomplishment, and even more so when Manny's walking dramatically improved with his new shoes.

Next.....Trip to Vegas, part 4.

Trip to Vegas....Part 2

Prior to the trip I got tickets to two shows. On Friday night we saw Frank Caliendo, who was appearing at our hotel. Very convenient to walk from the crap table right into the theatre. If you are not familiar with Frank Caliendo, he is an excellent impersonator/comedian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLM0esS0Z0g&feature=related

On Saturday night we saw Andrew Dice Clay at The Riviera. This is an old-style, seedy, run-down hotel on the strip. Kind of like The Shangri-La in the movie "The Cooler" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHIH8zkVfg4 Andrew Dice Clay was playing in a little nightclub style room, deep in the recesses of the shabby Riviera. While we were waiting to be seated, the hostess came over to Brian and I and asked if the man we were with was our Dad. When we said yeah, she said "It may be a wait until we start seating people, I'm gonna give you guys seats up front and seat you right away". This was very good, considering it took 45 minutes to seat everyone else.

So, we saw the politically incorrect Andrew Dice Clay. If you are not familiar with Dice, here's a short clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlnfOsBf6T8&feature=related The thing is, while his current act is as raunchy as ever, he has plenty of new material, and he IS a pro (which in comedy means he has great interactions with the audience). No lie, we were in stitches for over an hour. After the show, Manny did point out that "This guy didn't invent this kind of comedy, Redd Foxx used to do stuff like this".

For Sunday, we knew in advance it would be all about betting on pro football. I saw an ad for "1500 seat theatre for NFL games, 6 big screens, no smoking" at the Hilton. We agreed this was for us. The NFL games start at 10 AM in Vegas, so we decided to go for a breakfast buffet at the Hilton, and then go to the theatre for the games. The Hilton had a GREAT breakfast buffet, which was right next to an impressive sports book.

We didn't stay at the sportsbook, but it's a nice one. The big screen in the middle of the picture has the odds on all the games and all kinds of proposition bets. Besides football, they had basketball, horseracing, "future bets" for baseball, and betting on Nascar.

We walked over to the theatre, where there was no charge, but a small line to get in. Right outside the door were several betting windows, strictly for football. This is the way life is supposed to be!! While we were waiting to get in, one of the hostesses came over to Brian and said "Are you guys here with your Dad?" When he said yeah, she said "I'm watching you guys take care of him, and I take care of my Dad too, I'm gonna give you guys VIP seating, and wristbands for free food and drinks all day". Not too shabby, and we told Manny that we both agree he is very "useful".

In hindsight, I made some good picks, but bet poorly at football. I loved the Jets against Tampa Bay, but I only bet a little on them. I used the Jets in a lot of parlays, which means I needed the Jets AND other teams to win the bet. The Jets killed Tampa Bay, but most of my other teams were busts, and it cost me. Such is sports betting.

Next.....Part 3

Trip to Vegas....Part 1

When I started to actually plan the long discussed "Trip to Vegas With Manny and Brian", I thought that one fringe benefit would be writing about it. It had potential for great material, especially considering how much I enjoyed writing about my previous Florida visits with Manny. It is now a month since the trip (we were in Vegas 12/10 - 12/14), and I haven't blogged on it yet.


Here goes......it was a weekend of booze and broads, hot streaks at the tables, and some nights I can't even remember. Oh wait, that's the imaginary trip I took when I was single, Manny was magically the same age as me, and Brian attracted babes just by walking in the room.

I must report: that was NOT our trip.

OUR trip started with Brian and Manny flying into Vegas from Florida, and me flying in from New York. We landed at the same time (I know this because Brian called me on the cell phone at the precise moment and I actually saw their plane on the ground right next to mine). I went and got the rental car and came back to pick them up. This was a theme throughout the trip....we constantly coordinated all our movements to adjust to Manny's minor limitations. Brian and I made up systems for everything, so everything we did fit with what Manny was able to do.

We stayed at the Monte Carlo, a big hotel on the strip.

















I like it because it is not "over the top" on glitz, it has a nice casino, plenty of restaurants, and is centrally located to many of the other hotels. We ate at a few of the restaurants there, and the buffet, and they were all fine.

I knew in advance that Brian enjoys sports betting, especially football, so I was glad to see the Monte Carlo had a small, comfortable sports book. It had betting on college and pro basketball, college and pro football, and of course, horse racing from all over the country. We played them all, in comfort and without regard for anything going on anywhere else in the world. A few times we bet on games that we knew were on TV, then went up to our room and watched them. I got a kick out of yelling and screaming for Kansas to cover a 22 point spread against some crappy small school.....and they did cover it!

The first thing some people asked me when we got back was...."how did you do with the gambling?" The casino at the Monte Carlo only had three craps tables, which were pretty busy, usually $5 minimums with triple odds, exactly how I like it. I played a lot of craps, and taught Brian to play. I even caught him playing without me once!!! I was probably up a bit at craps for the trip. I had a few sessions where I did well, and cashed out ahead. I had some sessions where I lost, but never a session where I got really hammered (which can happen at craps, but during the whole trip it never happened to me).

I did not do as well at sports betting or Caribbean Stud poker, which caused me to have a net gambling loss for the trip. However, considering the amount of play, and considering that the amount I lost was a fraction of what I was prepared to put in play, I rated my gambling for the trip as successful. I know that some of my readers gamble, while some don't, but I feel compelled to say something about gambling as an entertainment activity. In the long run, one cannot win at casino gambling. The math is against you, and the longer you play, the more the math must catch up and beat you. That being said, over the short term, players tend to have times when things go right and there are times when you win. It never happens that one loses every bet. That would be as unlikely as winning every bet, it just doesn't happen. I like to play craps with the intention of playing for a certain amount of time, say 45 minutes. If I catch a nice roll, and am ahead a few hundred bucks, I cash out and do something else. If I start out at a table and its cold, and I am down a few, I also cash out and walk.

Sometimes, you may bet at a certain level, catch a little streak and get ahead, and take a shot at playing at a higher level. If you catch another streak while doing this, you have some real excitement. This DOES actually happen sometimes, and it IS enticing. What you can't do, is try to force it, or chase it, or figure that the odds are its going to happen soon so you keep playing. I don't do that, Brian doesn't do that, and Manny doesn't do that (any more).

Next.....Trip to Vegas, Part 2......

Back From Hell (10 Worst Things About a Dental Abscess)

I haven't blogged in over a month. I could attribute this to the Holiday Season, or to the long awaited "trip to Vegas with Manny and Brian", or being burnt-out, but the truth is I haven't felt like doing much of anything since my trip to HELL with a dental abscess.

The timing could hardly have been worse.....my bottom right, back molar started hurting a few days before I was supposed to leave for Vegas. I begged my dentist to "do whatever is necessary to not ruin my trip", so I ended up going to Vegas on antibiotics, a commenced root canal, severe pain, a swollen jaw and some major league trismus (essentially.....lockjaw). I never appreciated being able to open my mouth until a month of not being able. I could open my mouth enough to slide in a teaspoon with something flattened onto it.

In an effort to experience all the major illness groups and report to my readership, let me tell you......dental abscess pain stands front and center with the best of them, and I am so far acquainted with heart attack, throat cancer and melanoma surgery. This pain laughed at high levels of Advil and Tylenol, and scoffed at Vicodin. If I had saved a morphine patch from my throat radiation days, I'd have slapped that baby right on.

I would be remiss if I did not recount the miracle of my hellular redemption. When I got back from Vegas, my dentist referred me to an oral surgeon, who was reluctant to extract the bad tooth in my "condition", and suggested it be done at the hospital under general anesthesia. I'd have followed this advice, but the surgeon at the hospital could not see me for two days more. The next morning I had some new clients at my office, and when I apologized to them for talking slow and slurred due to a dental problem, the man asked what the problem was. Bottom line.....he was an oral surgeon who was on vacation, his credentials were incredible, he saw my condition was serious, and offered to extract the tooth at his friends office immediately. We went straight there and he did the job.....starting me on the road back to blogging.

What were the chances of that?!?!

As a blogger I'm sometimes not so keen on my own privacy, but I will respect my savior's privacy and not mention his name. However, if anyone in my blogging world ever needs help in this area, e-mail me.

Here's a top 10 list (worst things about a dental abscess) to start the year:

10. If you research any medical topic on the internet, you become certain death is at hand.

9. Not only could I not sleep, when I drugged myself to sleep I kept dreaming that gremlins were planting exploding teeth in my gums.

8. If you take an antibiotic which can cause diarrhea, and then start on Vicodin which makes you constipated, you become certain that you will eventually become an exploding sack of s**t.

7. Eating in tiny bites makes every meal go really slowly. I need another 30 years or so until I can accept that.

6. When the bad tooth was finally going to be extracted, I could hardly wait for the Novocaine shot....just to make the pain stop.

5. When I was in Vegas, the only time I was not having dental pain was while playing craps.

4. I have given a lot of thought to how a dental abscess would have been handled in the 1800's. I have concluded it is too painful to think about.

3. One night I was up at 5 AM, and watched the movie "A Picture of Dorian Gray". It was pretty cool, so now I am reading the book. OK, so SOME good came of this.

2. I know there are worse things that can happen, and I don't usually express things like this, but.....I hope I never find out.

1. When something bad finally ends, it causes a wave appreciation for health and freedom from pain. I pray for the strength to always remember this.

I wish a happy and healthy 2010 to ALL.

Running a Scenario

I don't want to make predictions. After all, if I'm wrong, there it is with my name and the date of my wrongness. Not that so many people are reading, but I confess, I read it, and it would bother me to read a wrong prediction.

So, instead of making a prediction, I will "run a scenario". That way, if I'm wrong, I won't have made a wrong prediction. If my scenario runs true, I won't say I made a correct prediction, but I will know I did.

Here goes......

A health care reform bill will NOT be passed.

It will be the first humbling defeat for President Obama. He will handle it with dignity.

As a result of this defeat, despite his valiant efforts to DO SOMETHING, his stature and credibility will rise.

He will then undertake the next big social issue of our day.....IMMIGRATION.

As emotional as immigration reform is, it is much simpler than health care reform.

It has the potential for bi-partisanship, negotiation, and results that are predicable, measurable, and understandable.

Congress will pass a comprehensive immigration reform bill in 2010, and President Obama will sign it.

Right leaning Republicans will rail against this new law, and make it the cornerstone of their effort to take back the White House.

President Obama will be re-elected in a landslide, largely because of his handling of immigration reform in the aftermath of his defeat on health care reform.

Many will speculate as to why Obama chose to tackle health care before immigration. Ultimately this decision, whether by design or not, will be credited as one of the most brilliant moves in American political history.


If this all turns out to be wrong....hey, it was just a scenario.

Somehow, though, I do think this is how it's going to play out.

Your scenarios are welcome.

What About This "Public Option"

Two posts ago (Paradoxes in the Health Care Debate), a reader posted a thoughtful comment, which included the following:

"As a lawyer, Barry, would you want to see the government subsidizing other lawyers in your area of specialty? Sure, you can compete with other private lawyers, but can you compete with lawyers being subsidized by the government? The government could lower their rates to zero if it so desires, which you cannot do."

This got me thinking.....the government DOES subsidize lawyers in the criminal law field. The government pays for lawyers for indigent defendants. This takes the form of legal aid, and in New York there is also an "18-B" panel, which represents criminal defendants when a conflict of interest prevents legal aid from representing a defendant. This subsidized lawyering directly competes with private criminal attorneys. Criminal law is not my specialty, but I know plenty of lawyers who do this work, and I have never heard a complaint about "competing with a government subsidized program". Let's look at a few reasons, and see if there are analogies to health care:

1. Some private criminal lawyers, but not all, are on the court appointed panel. They do this to subsidize their income, and because it is also a source for future "private" cases. Many criminal law attorneys derive a serious portion of their income from participating in the court appointed panels, and are PAID by this "government subsidized" program.

1(a) I suspect that many, but not all, doctors in private practice will choose to accept payment from the government option health plan. (They may be required to accept it, which seems right to me too). Will that plan be paying much less than the private insurance plans? I see how little my private insurer (GHI) pays my doctors under the present system. Sometimes it's embarrassing. I maintain that the public option will be a bonanza for many doctors in private practice, and for hospitals.

2. Some clients who would be eligible for legal aid or a court appointed lawyer ELECT to retain a private attorney. There are many reasons they may do this, but the obvious ones are better service, higher skill level, personal attention, and what may be at stake (their liberty). Clients pay extra for this if they (or their family) choose to, and they generally get value for their money.

2(a) I suspect that many, but not all, patients and health insurance buyers will ELECT to pay a premium to stay out of the public option and will pay for private insurance. There will be factors determining how many do this, but the main factors will be "how competitive is the price" and "how much better is the service". It will be all about competition, and the private insurers will be quite able to compete. It's just that as it presently stands, they'd prefer not to.

3. Even in the non-criminal areas of practice, there are times when lawyers compete with subsidized programs, and clients who can obtain legal services for zero cost. There are civil matters where clients can get legal services without paying, or by representing themselves. Housing Court is an example of this. People can pay a private attorney, but many either "can't afford it" or elect not to pay a private attorney. I don't have a problem with this. Legal clients have an option medical patients don't have, they can represent themselves, and some do.

3(a) Doctors already have "competition" from a subsidized source......the emergency rooms that do not turn people away. Who pays for these services? Some patients are on Medicare and Medicaid, some pay the hospital, some stiff the hospital. Where the ultimate cost falls is a big shell game, but if I had to guess at the biggest reason private health insurance is so expensive, its that the hospitals make up the difference on all the "stiffage" by banging the private insurance, who simply bangs it back to its customers. Like I said, a big shell game.

3(b) People without health insurance, and who are not old enough for Medicare, or poor enough for Medicaid, are different than poor legal clients in one important way. They can't be their own doctor. Instead, they either delay care, or go without it, or they face financial ruin when an emergency happens. All because of a shell game. A zero-sum gain shell game designed to benefit those presently running the game.

The "public option" makes for a fairer shell game.