Trip to Austin.....Part 3

We decided to see a well known Austin attraction, the "bats who live in the Congress Avenue Bridge and fly out every night at sunset".  I did some online research and found out that 1,000,000 (yup, a million!!) bats sleep all day in the Congress Avenue Bridge, and every night at sunset they "fly out to feed".   I'm not sure why I wanted to see this, but I wanted to see it.  In fact, my whole family agreed that we wanted to see this.  Part of my thinking was....."if it doesn't measure up as a tourist attraction we will have still spent a nice sunset at the shore, and then we can go for Tex-Mex".  Everyone knew this was the plan, and were cool with it.  Here's a link about it

http://www.videocityguide.com/austin/listings/congress-bridge-bats

Like most things in Austin, the Congress Avenue Bridge was five minutes from our hotel.  The concierge (yup, he knew about the bats!) told us the Austin American Statesman (THE Austin newspaper) allowed bat watchers to park in their parking lot.  Sure enough.....

There were quite a few people waiting for the bats, and a lot of posted info about the bats.  We learned all about the natural phenomena that caused one MILLION bats to live in the bridge, sleep all day, and come out at night to feed.  There was even a bat expert walking around and answering people's bat questions.  She did point out that we were not at the height of the bat season, which is right after hundreds of thousands of bat mom's give birth, then leave their young to hunt for insects. Supposedly the bats consumed thousands of pounds of insects every night.

Looking at the bridge in still light twilight, I waxed poetic and thought, "This is all a bunch of bullshit.  I mean, a MILLION bats?"  "Did someone actually take a census?"  "A million is a lot, I don't think you could fit a million marbles under the bridge, much less living creatures."  I also wondered "Where does all the bat guano go?"

I was also a little worried about one million blind bats flying around, right where we were standing.  The expert lady assured us they were blind, but their sonar tracking was highly sophisticated and they might come close but would never hit us.  I was skeptical, I mean, my GPS is pretty sophisticated but sometimes it sends me on stupid routes.

We had some time, so we took some pictures....

Here's a picture from early in the bat waiting process....

As it got darker, more people congregated....

Then, it started to get dark, and you could kind of see shadows of bats flying around.  There was never an "oooooh, ahhhhh", moment.  It was mostly "Was that a bat?  Did you see any bats?".  At a certain point I realized that if a bat got close enough for me to actually see it, that was way too close.  If there are a million bats in there, they were either hibernating or watching something on cable.  Maybe they were waiting for the tourists to leave when it got REALLY dark.  Maybe they weren't so hungry that they had to come out the moment the sun went down....maybe they would just come out later for a nosh.  So, we saw some bats.  For all I know, we may have seen thousands of bats.  But a million?!?!?!

Still in all, for a free attraction, I felt we got our money's worth.  It was only 9 o'clock, so we embarked on our evening plan, dinner in South Austin.  The Congress Avenue Bridge crosses Town Lake.  On one side Congress Avenue is a downtown street, leading directly to the Capitol building.  On the other side of Town Lake, Congress Avenue becomes South Congress.  This is a pretty cool part of Austin, with lots of restaurants, and food trucks, and bars with music, and college students.  We cruised up and down checking things out, then hunger won out and we went to one of the restaurants on our list, Guero's Tacos.  http://www.guerostacobar.com/  Pretty dang good!!!!

After dinner we had to walk it off.  We stumbled upon Amy's Ice Cream.  Fantastic.  I did some research later and found out Amy's is an Austin tradition.  Here's a posting from a Foodie blog about Amy's.  http://www.followmefoodie.com/2010/08/austin-texas-amys-ice-cream-2/

When we got back to our hotel, we took a walk on 6th Street, which was closed to traffic due to 40,000 bikers being in Austin, on 6th Street, all at the same time.  Certainly more bikers on 6th Street than bats at the bridge.  We walked around in the insanity for an hour or so, then called it a night.

Another great day in Austin....

Next, Part 4....Barton Springs!!

Ethics is Easy

At a Mother's Day dinner with friends, someone told a story about a colleague who did the following.....

He had booked a vacation through a small airline (I will omit names and incriminating details to protect the "innocent").  When he needed to change his itinerary the airline wanted to charge $600.  So this person did a little research about the CEO of the company.  Things like where he went to college, what frat he was in, what interests he had, and who some of his friends were.  He then used this information to call people in the reservations department, impersonated an old friend of the CEO, and got the company to waive the $600 fee.

Upon hearing the story my reaction was essentially, "What an a-hole," and I said so.  I was not met with uniform agreement, and one person said, "I think what he did was wonderful, and I don't see why you have a problem with it."  I was flustered, and could only say, "It just seems wrong, it's....unethical."  To which this person responded, "Yeah, well, you are just so ETHICAL."   As if there were something wrong with it.

This led to a long discussion of right, wrong, ethics, criminality, and the whole gamut of "sin being in the eye of the beholder."  Disturbing on many levels, but if nothing else, thought provoking.

The next day when I left work I noticed that my car (a 2002 Saturn about which I had been agonizing over whether I should sell and graduate to a fancier car, or keep it because it ran well and I don't really care much about cars) had a note on the windshield.  As Maimonides once said, "A note on the windshield is rarely a good thing."  (he said a lot of cool things btw)
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/194459.Maimonides

The note said "Check your left rear fender."  The note also had a man's name and phone #.  Had he not left the note, I would not have noticed that the left rear bumper was dented.  When I walked around to the other side of the car, I saw that the right rear tire had been pushed into the curb and that the rim was dented pretty bad.  I also noticed that the trunk was slightly askew.  The car sounded a little funny, but I was able to drive it home.

I called the note-writer and identified myself as the blue Saturn owner and note recipient.  He told me he was really sorry, that he had made a mistake and hit my car and it was his fault.  He said he would call his insurance company and if it was OK with me, he would call me back and give me the claim number.   I thanked him and then said the next thing that came to mind:  "What you are doing is so.....ETHICAL."

He called me back with the claim number and I called his insurance company the next morning.  The adjustor told me that they would accept 100% responsibility, set me up with a rental car if I needed it, and that I should let them know if I had a body shop so they could evaluate the car there.  I asked the adjustor how often people in this situation leave a note, and he said, "About 10%."

Bottom line:  The insurance considered my Saturn a total and paid me $5000 for it.  MUCH more than I would have sold or traded it for.  I used the rental car while I shopped for new cars, found a great deal, and am now driving a nice new car.

I admit it, I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this story.

Some observations:  More than one person told me that they have experienced people who hit a parked car, go through the motions of leaving a note (because people saw them), but leave phony information. Oy vey.

Some people thought that the story of the airline impersonator was pretty ingenious, though it was hard to imagine someone spending the time and effort to do that.  I add this comment to the mix:  "If you did that, would you brag about it, or would you be embarrassed to tell anyone?"

I think if I hit a parked car I would be in the 10% and leave a note.  That being said, my instinct would also be to look around and see if anyone saw, and I imagine I would at least think it over.

A bit of backstory about my 2002 Saturn:  On the day before Mother's Day I was at home, thinking about whether to look at new cars and sell my Saturn.  At the precise moment I firmly decided to stick with my old car, the Neil Young song "Long May You Run" came on the radio.  I used to think this song was an ode to an old friend, but further research indicates it's about HIS CAR!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nszR0tfp4Es

Long May You Run (Lyrics)

We've been through
Some things together
With trunks of memories
Still to come
We found things to do
In stormy weather
Long may you run.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Well, it was
Back in Blind River in 1962
When I last saw you alive
But we missed that shift
On the long decline
Long may you run.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Maybe The Beach Boys
Have got you now
With those waves
Singing "Caroline No"
Rollin' down
That empty ocean road
Gettin' to the surf on time.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Zen and the Art of Silent Golf

Golf presents me with a dilemma. I really should retire from "competitive" sports like basketball and even softball, since the serious injury question is not "if" but "when and how bad". The problem with golf is that I play pretty poorly and haven't improved much in the last 20 years. I can forgive myself somewhat, having only started to play in my 30's, and also because improving at golf takes learning the fundamentals and then practice and playing, and all of these take TIME.

I can't really play golf instead of working, and I don't want to regularly spend 5-7 hours on a weekend away from family and personal commitments. The only way to play more is to expand my day.

For me, this translates to "Back nine at Forest Park".

Some background about golf is in order (Note - If you are a golfer, you probably know most of these things. If you are not, please think of this as an anthropological study of a culture containing unique customs and rituals, existing right in your midst)

There are public courses and private courses. I am not a member of a country club, so I play at public courses. I have played at private courses as a guest, and at golf outings. Private courses are nicer.....everything is better groomed, the players are aware of courtesy and etiquette, and you don't have to wait around too much because everyone has some idea how to play the game. Just like in regular life.

A lot of people don't know this, but there are twelve public golf courses in the City of New York. I'm not talking miniature golf here, these are all 18 hole REAL golf courses. There are four in Queens (Forest Park, Kissena, Douglaston and Clearview), two in Brooklyn (Marine Park and Dycker), three in the Bronx (Pelham, Split Rock, and Van Cortlandt) and three in Staten Island (Silver Lake, La Tourette and South Shore). I have played all of these except Split Rock (I heard it had a lot of mosquitoes, so why take a chance).

On private courses they require you to use a motorized cart. These are provided as part of your membership. You hit your ball, you drive to it, you hit it again. The cart carries your bag of clubs, and your drinks and your snacks and other stuff. Sometimes they have a special GPS for golf. The GPS has the course layout, and can tell you how far from the hole you are, what hazards lie ahead, etc. (I know, you think I'm kidding, but it's true). Fancier private clubs require you to use a caddy (a person who carries your bag of clubs and gives you golf advice). Like in Caddyshack.

On public courses you can use a cart, and many people do. You pay extra for this, and it's not expensive ($20 - $30 for a round, and you usually split it with someone). You can also use a pull cart (you can rent these for about $5, but people who use them usually have their own). I have my own pull cart. You can also simply carry your own bag, which some people do.

All the public courses now have pretty good reservation systems. You can call, or make reservations online. Golfers go around the course in groups of four. However, it is very common for people to have a group of two or three, or to arrive as a single. When you do this, the "starter" turns the various groups into foursomes. I have no problem going as a single, and getting matched with a threesome (or a twosome plus another single). Sometimes it's one of the nicest things about golf. You meet some strangers, walk and play the course together, and talk while you play. Over the years I have played the NYC public courses with all kinds of nice people. I have played with firemen, retirees (male and female), fathers and sons, schoolteachers, lawyers who I didn't know, teenagers, and every racial/ethnic group.

A playing option I like is playing the "back nine only". To do this you show up early in the morning, and you can start on hole #10, and play holes 10 - 18. This is first come, first serve, but at 6 AM it's not usually crowded. The cut-off time for this is 8 AM (the time when the earliest golfers who are playing 18 holes would get to #10). It's busier for the back nine between 7 and 8, and you risk being shut out, so I like to go early. Playing when it's not crowded, one can play nine holes in two to two 1/2 hours. Starting at 6 has me done by 8:30. It feels good to get home at 9 AM, having already done something I really enjoy. The price is not bad either. I paid $19.25 to walk the back nine at Forest Park, plus $2.75 for parking.

My recent Forest Park back nine experiences have been a little different. I still go as a single, but I do not play with the variety of folks I used to. Now the answer to the question "Who did you play with today?" is always the same. "Three Koreans".

Last Fall, one morning after I had paid and walked over to the starter on the 10th hole, he said to me, "I hope you like silent golf". When I asked what he meant, he said "You see the people waiting to play? They won't be talking to you. I hope you can handle that". I looked at the people waiting and saw they were all Asian. I hadn't noticed before. I asked the starter if he was serious. He assured me he was, and I said I was there to play, so send me out.

I did not care for silent golf the first time I experienced it. It's not that my playing partners didn't speak, they just didn't speak to ME. They talked quite a lot, to each other, in Korean. Sometimes they also did this while I was getting ready to hit the ball, or to putt, which is a big breach of etiquette. A few times I stopped and stared when they did this, and they got the message. I made a few jokes to myself as I walked and played, but as that first morning of silent golf wore on, I must admit, I became upset. At the last hole, when the last putt dropped, I did what one is supposed to do, I shook hands with each member of the foursome. This is universal, and they were doing it too. Usually you say something like "Nice playing with you, or thanks for the round, or whatever......"All I could think to say was "Thanks for nothing". Not surprisingly, there was no reaction to my comment. After that day I didn't play for quite awhile.

Yesterday I really wanted to play. So I decided to try another Forest Park back nine, and if it turned out to be silent, so be it. I went one mental step further. While I did not assume it would be silent golf, if it turned out to be, I was going to enjoy it.

When I walked to the 10th hole at 6 AM, there were about ten people waiting. However, when the starter saw I was a single he said "A threesome is next, you can join them". I walked over to my three Korean playing partners and said "Good morning, I'm Barry". One said "I'm Choi". The other two were silent. Until I got ready to make my first shot, at which time they all started jabbering in Korean. I just laughed and hit my drive.

I saw that my playing partners were pretty good players. Actually, they were great off the tee, and all had the same swing. They probably all learned from the same pro, and probably spent hours at the driving range. They were not nearly as good on the short game and putting. I had plenty of time to analyze their games and talk to myself about it. They had an opportunity to observe my game too. I don't drive the ball very far, and I slice too much, but I am pretty good on the short game and putting. On the 14th hole I hit a drive that was not great, but better than I had done so far. At this point they all said "Guh-sha", which I know is Korenglish for "good shot". Of course, I also know that this really means "Good shot....for YOU." I just laughed and said thank you.

On the 16th hole, after my drive, Choi said to me "You slicey too much, should close stance to hit straighter". I said thank you, I'll try that. The last two holes my drives were better. I felt great after my rewarding nine holes of silent golf. I went home, had a great breakfast, and started thinking about my new stance.

Random Thoughts

I have watched some of the World Cup Soccer matches. The skill and athleticism is impressive. But what is the story with that humming sound throughout all the games? I heard the announcers say something about some noisemakers the South African fans are using. It is REALLY annoying. The networks must be furious about this........OK......I googled the question, and here's the story....its the "vuvuzela"
http://www.soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/13/vuvuzela-ban-could-come-to-world-cup/

Another thing about the World Cup. I kind of like the smug and well spoken British announcers. They announce the games like a golf match.

Last thing about the World Cup, and soccer in general. As a spectator sport, and a sport to talk about during a game, and for strategy.....gimme BASEBALL. Not even close.

Next topic - gulf oil spill. Man, there's a lot of oil down there! I don't understand the geology of how so much is shooting out of there for so long. Is this a typical well? An amazing well? How long would it have taken to "harvest" all the oil that's shooting out of there, had it not blown up? When I was in law school in Texas, a popular elective was "O&G" (oil & gas). I didn't take that class because I didn't see much use for it in Queens, but now I wish I knew the answers to my questions. All I really know about O&G is what I learned from the Beverly Hillbillies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOGM6gHvao

While I was "researching" the Beverly Hillbillies, I came across the theme from another cool show. All I can say is...they don't make em like this any more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4&feature=related

I'm always interested in what historical or cultural things people of different ages are aware of. The other day I mentioned "Joan Baez" in my office. Three people under age 35 "never heard of her". Is it just me, or is this evidence that we are in serious trouble?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFvkhzkS4bw&feature=related When I was a kid, my mom took guitar lessons. She wanted to play and sing like Joan Baez, and to my recollection, she did a good job of it.
Bonus clip: I love this song, Diamonds and Rust....it's about Bob Dylan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMHSbcd_qI&feature=related

I am usually a big fan of "cover" versions of songs, but I don't know about the Judas Priest version of Diamonds and Rust http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIC7KQPDuDc&feature=related

Last topic for today. The Mets are fun this year. They fight hard and they have some nice players. It should be a great summer.

Back From Hell (10 Worst Things About a Dental Abscess)

I haven't blogged in over a month. I could attribute this to the Holiday Season, or to the long awaited "trip to Vegas with Manny and Brian", or being burnt-out, but the truth is I haven't felt like doing much of anything since my trip to HELL with a dental abscess.

The timing could hardly have been worse.....my bottom right, back molar started hurting a few days before I was supposed to leave for Vegas. I begged my dentist to "do whatever is necessary to not ruin my trip", so I ended up going to Vegas on antibiotics, a commenced root canal, severe pain, a swollen jaw and some major league trismus (essentially.....lockjaw). I never appreciated being able to open my mouth until a month of not being able. I could open my mouth enough to slide in a teaspoon with something flattened onto it.

In an effort to experience all the major illness groups and report to my readership, let me tell you......dental abscess pain stands front and center with the best of them, and I am so far acquainted with heart attack, throat cancer and melanoma surgery. This pain laughed at high levels of Advil and Tylenol, and scoffed at Vicodin. If I had saved a morphine patch from my throat radiation days, I'd have slapped that baby right on.

I would be remiss if I did not recount the miracle of my hellular redemption. When I got back from Vegas, my dentist referred me to an oral surgeon, who was reluctant to extract the bad tooth in my "condition", and suggested it be done at the hospital under general anesthesia. I'd have followed this advice, but the surgeon at the hospital could not see me for two days more. The next morning I had some new clients at my office, and when I apologized to them for talking slow and slurred due to a dental problem, the man asked what the problem was. Bottom line.....he was an oral surgeon who was on vacation, his credentials were incredible, he saw my condition was serious, and offered to extract the tooth at his friends office immediately. We went straight there and he did the job.....starting me on the road back to blogging.

What were the chances of that?!?!

As a blogger I'm sometimes not so keen on my own privacy, but I will respect my savior's privacy and not mention his name. However, if anyone in my blogging world ever needs help in this area, e-mail me.

Here's a top 10 list (worst things about a dental abscess) to start the year:

10. If you research any medical topic on the internet, you become certain death is at hand.

9. Not only could I not sleep, when I drugged myself to sleep I kept dreaming that gremlins were planting exploding teeth in my gums.

8. If you take an antibiotic which can cause diarrhea, and then start on Vicodin which makes you constipated, you become certain that you will eventually become an exploding sack of s**t.

7. Eating in tiny bites makes every meal go really slowly. I need another 30 years or so until I can accept that.

6. When the bad tooth was finally going to be extracted, I could hardly wait for the Novocaine shot....just to make the pain stop.

5. When I was in Vegas, the only time I was not having dental pain was while playing craps.

4. I have given a lot of thought to how a dental abscess would have been handled in the 1800's. I have concluded it is too painful to think about.

3. One night I was up at 5 AM, and watched the movie "A Picture of Dorian Gray". It was pretty cool, so now I am reading the book. OK, so SOME good came of this.

2. I know there are worse things that can happen, and I don't usually express things like this, but.....I hope I never find out.

1. When something bad finally ends, it causes a wave appreciation for health and freedom from pain. I pray for the strength to always remember this.

I wish a happy and healthy 2010 to ALL.

Top 10 Things I Should Blog About

Sometimes I have a bunch of blog ideas kicking around, and I can't decide which ones to actually DO. You might think this is a good thing, since I would have "a lot a material" to sustain my blogging over the coming weeks. The problem is, sometimes if you don't nail a good blog idea right away, it either becomes old news OR so much is written by others that there's nothing left to say.

A little amateur writer honesty is also in order.....sometimes it's easier to have a bunch of ideas than to actually write the pieces. This comes under the heading of "things that look easier than they are, until you try to do them". Like golf, fishing, and yoga. I'd feel worse about having blog ideas, without the blog pieces written, if I were a full time writer. Sometimes I wonder.....if I were a full time writer, and not a "lawyer doing my writing on the side", wouldn't it be easy to turn all the ideas into fully written pieces?

Actually, I do know better. It would NOT be easy. And my virtual hat is off to all REAL writers. Until I try it full time, I will always wonder if I could take writing to a higher level than I have at golf, fishing and yoga......things I have liked, tried, and sucked at. And yes, I do realize that one should not say they "suck" at yoga, that you "are where you are and you do what you can and that is OK", but it is also true that "when you do and you do and you are how you were", you suck.

Here are the top 10 things I should blog about:

10. The over-use of antibiotics is the main reason so many people are sick all the time.

9. The issue of the "shameful" bonuses is a bogus issue that has zero to do with the economic recovery. For Congress to pass laws imposing a 90% tax is the ultimate hypocrisy, and the type of ex-post facto law the founding fathers banned for the States, right in the Constitution. Today's Wall Street Journal editorial made this exact point. The 90% tax is purely grandstanding to distract folks from the irresponsible way the "economic stimulus" packages have been rushed and botched.

8. I have written that GM will soon be in Chapter 11, but the better story is that AIG should already BE in Chapter 11.

7. I am amazed how often intelligent, unmarried older people, with a LOT of money, die without a Will. The result of this is distant relatives inheriting their money. Did they really think they were going to live forever? Did they even CONSIDER making a Will and leaving their money to charity? Were they too cheap to pay for a proper Will?

6. The first and most important thing to do when thinking about a website for your business is: make believe you are the ideal customer/client for your business, and then Google every possible search term you can think of. Check the results and look at all the sites on all the page ones. That's your guide. It doesn't cost anything to do this, so if you are thinking about a website, do this right away.

5. AIG (yes, again!) is being treated different than any other company, and for good reason. They were the lynch pin in the giant Ponzi scheme that WAS the American mortgage system. The thumbnail version is that the mortgages could not have been grouped into bonds and sold, unless there was insurance. Big banks and government bought the bonds based on their value being "insured" by AIG. But AIG, and the banks who relied on their insurance, should have considered the following analogy........if I went to a sports book in a casino, and ALL the action was on one team, and the point spread was never adjusted, in fact, the point spread (interest rates, hehe) was adjusted to bring even MORE action on one team, and the bookie was not laying off it's bets, in fact it was continuing to take even more action on the same team, I would conclude that THE BOOKIE WAS GAMBLING!!!!! And so they were, and the other team won. And we are bailing out the bookie and all the bettors.

4. I learned how to play mah-jongg, and I really enjoy it. Whew, I admitted it.

3. The single most under-rated lawyering skill is writing good letters. It's the first thing I teach any new person in my office. I have a foolproof system for writing great business letters. Three parts to it: One: Identify yourself, and other pertinent parties. Two: Tell the story (this is the hard part, but telling the story well is what MAKES the letter) Three: Conclude by stating your position or asking for something. That's all there is to it.

2. A contested estate matter is like a contested matrimonial case, except there are more players, AND the one person who could possibly keep things under control is dead. Lovely way to spend one's time.

1. I can't imagine staying in law practice for the rest of my working life, yet I can't imagine not doing it.

Guess I'll be keeping my day job.

Lawyering....Back in the Day

Like any older person (hey, 26.5 years as a lawyer makes me older than lots of people) I like to recall the days of old. Quaint times when things were not as they are now. Back in the day, when I opened my law practice in 1982, things were markedly different. Doesn't seem like that long ago? In the context of law practice, consider the following:

1. Nobody had cell phones. We went to phone booths (the Courthouse was full of them), and we carried change.

2. Nobody had their "calendar" or their "contacts" in a device. We had little leather diaries that went in our breast pockets. I recently unearthed my collection of pocket diaries, from 1981 (I was important enough as a pre-lawyer to have a pocket diary) through 1997. When I looked through my old diaries I had the same feeling as when I go to my archives and look at old files, another trip down "bad memory lane".

3. Nobody had a fax machine. We never got things instantly, we never sent things instantly. I think we thought more, but now, who has time to think about such things, with all these faxes coming in. During the first "big" case I ever worked on, my clients insurance company disclaimed coverage, and informed me of this by TELEGRAM.

4. Fedex (and other overnight services) did not exist. For local stuff we used messengers. For far away stuff people....waited.

5. Most offices did have copy machines. However, I did know older lawyers who used carbon paper. I also worked on some files for older lawyers where the copies were from carbon paper.

6. Some offices had primitive computers and word processors. However, electric typewriters, "secretaries who took shorthand" and "typing services" were commonplace.

7. E-mail did not exist. Web surfing did not exist. Facebook did not exist. Fantasy football and baseball did not exist. Online poker did not exist. How did we manage to waste time???

8. In 1982, lawyer advertising was pretty new. I know we are all proud of how lawyer advertising has evolved, improving both our service to people, and our image.

When I started in practice, I was in a suite with some lawyers who had been practicing for over 50 years. I liked to talk to them about THEIR "old days", when they started in practice, in the 1930's.

More on this tomorrow.

Let Them Drink Water

"What'll It Be?"

"I'll have the 'all you can eat special'......and a Diet Coke"

New York Governor Paterson's recent proposal to tax non-diet soft drinks http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/soda-tax-plan-sparks-a-debate/ should be applauded for one reason only. It will get people talking about the question of whether diet sodas are healthy. There has been some reference to this tax as an "obesity tax". This stunned me, as I firmly believe that not only are diet sodas unhealthy, they CAUSE obesity.

I know, just because overweight people are often seen buying and consuming diet soda, I should not make the simplistic assumption that diet soda caused the obesity. I know it did not. Over-eating the wrong foods, lack of exercise and (perhaps) genetics is the CAUSE. But has diet soda ever helped an obese person LOSE weight? If there was an ounce of evidence that this could remotely happen, wouldn't the diet soda purveyors be flaunting this? They do not, because they know diet soda has zero to do with reducing obesity. My non-scientific observation is that drinking diet soda tricks obese people into thinking they are "doing something about their problem", which paradoxically causes them to ignore the root issues, thereby exacerbating the problem. In logic, I think this is called the "Tab-Conundrum".

This diet soda exception reeks of lobbying, desperation and stupidity. I was insulted by the idea of exempting diet soda from a soft-drink tax. Am I the only one? Soft drinks are unhealthy crap, designed by the mass-food industry to be addictive. Diet sodas are crappy soft-drinks with the sugar taken out, and chemical substitutes added.

There are numerous examples of legislative efforts to tax "unhealthy" products, to raise revenue and discourage unhealthy (and therefore costly to society) behavior. Most people have no problem with a heavy tax on cigarettes. Most of us understand why gasoline is taxed (our society is addicted to it, we should use less, and the tax raises massive revenue).

I don't have a problem with soft drinks being taxed, if it's ALL soft drinks. I can imagine a board meeting at Coke, where they can't be happy about their flagship product being taxed, but also realizing the benefits in touting the tax savings of their "healthy alternative". Ughhh

What will be next? Coffee is a logical candidate. It's addictive, probably unhealthy, and widely used. Would we exempt de-caf? Frappuccinos?

What about tea? Hmmm, revolutions have started over taxing tea. Maybe that's why diet soda is exempted...fear of revolution from the Diet Coke community.

Excessive television watching is unhealthy, contributing to obesity and mental stupification. Maybe we should tax it.....would we exempt PBS? How about radio, would it be subject to the "sedentariness tax"?

Maybe this issue comes at the right time, when people are looking for ways to cut costs. I wonder how much money people would save if they didn't drink soft drinks at all? If they cured their addiction.....and I call it an addiction because people believe they NEED to drink soft drinks. The fact is, if you drink WATER (as is, or with a squeeze of lemon or lime......a 19 cent lime works for about 6 glasses of water), you'll never look back. Except to look at the soda companies to say "good-bye, and thanks for nothing".

Throw Back the Little Ones

The nature of law practice, like any small business, forces you to think about where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. I think I do this more as I get older, realizing there is not an infinite time frame to get it right.

This morning I was thinking about what I want to do, but it's so hard to stay focused on THAT. My learned thought patterns keep taking me back, thinking about what I've done....usually what I've done wrong. At best, I get to what I'm doing now, that is, what I'm presently doing wrong. Do I have to get past these to think about the future? I don't know, if you figure it out let me know, we can write a book and go on Oprah together.

I DID figure out that I want to be working on things that excite me, BIG projects and bold business ideas. I've had some of these kicking around for years, and they haven't been done. Why? WHY?? One reason is working on a high volume of small stuff, rationalized under the heading of "having to make a living". Would I be making a better living if I were working on bigger and better things? If I had the courage to go after them? If I did not "keep busy" with the small stuff?

For some reason, FISHING came to mind. If I were fishing for bigger and more exciting things to do, what would I do with the smaller fish? Give em to someone else, or....THROW THEM BACK. Naturally, this made me think of the Steely Dan song "Throw Back the Little Ones". It's an obscure Steely Dan song, but I always really liked it. Here's a link....with lyrics, give it a listen, check out the lyrics, and let me know if you like it http://www.actionext.com/names_s/steely_dan_lyrics/throw_back_the_little_ones.html

If you are fishing, and you don't throw back the little ones, and if you keep bringing them on board, you know what happens? Your whole ship smells like mackerel!!!

My Two Wacky Ideas

I would pontificate about GM and Chapter 11, but much smarter people are already doing that. My brief take on it......no way they are getting bailed out with this Congress and President, they should be forced into Chapter 11 with government financing on the reorganization. Resisting the bail out pressure will put President Obama to the test.

Sometimes it seems like the whole economy should file for Chapter 11.

Things have gotten so complicated that I am reluctant to contact President-Elect Obama about my two BIG ideas. These are things I have been thinking about for a few years. Maybe I am not the only one who has thought of these things, but for once, I have not googled them because I want to feel like I thought of them. I want to develop them. I want these ideas to be put into action because I know they will work, despite their apparent oddness. I might even let some think-tanks tinker with them, maybe perfect some of the fine points. There may be some possible flaws in these ideas, but I can assure you, they are misguided and can be addressed to the satisfaction of any clear thinking person.

OK....here are the two ideas.....................

1. A cashless economy. I am proposing that we eliminate all cash money except one dollar bills and quarters. All transactions, and I mean ALL transactions, should be on credit/debit cards. I want everything in the economy accounted for and verified. No cash payments for anything. Nobody working illegally, nobody getting paid off the books, nobody skipping out on their taxes. I am proposing that EVERY single person pay ALL of the income taxes (and mandatory health insurance premiums) that they are supposed to, and I CHALLENGE anyone to show me how this will not substantially lower the tax and insurance burden on us all. I mean, you could probably balance the entire Federal budget just on proper taxation of restaurant owners and waiters.
The technology certainly exists to do this. A card for every legal American (oh, and I would grandfather in everyone who's already here, except criminals and people under age 65 who cannot speak English after a two year grace period...but that's another story), which will be security protected for each individual. ALL your transactions are on there....when it's time to file your tax return you just swipe your card and you know where you stand. When you get paid at work, your check is direct deposited. When you need "money" you can swipe your card at an "ATM" and get your dough on your card.
Oh, and don't tell me you don't want "big brother" watching you. I have no problem with Big Brother "watching" me.....as long as he is watching EVERYBODY. This is not about anybody watching anybody else. It's about making things FAIR. 'Cuz you know which part of our economy really needs Chapter 11'ing? All the stuff that's just plain not fair. All the things that really irk fair minded people from all perspectives. I don't like that my taxes are so high, and my crappy business owner health insurance is insanely expensive, but what irks me the most is that if everybody paid, these things would cost less.

My other idea is in the "foreign policy" area. I won't elaborate on it. I will just throw it out there for some thought. I personally think it would work, and would ultimately make the world a better place. Please think about.........





2. Israel as the 51st State.

Quick Funny Story (Police at My Door)

Wow - I haven't blogged in awhile. That's mostly from being very busy at work. It's also because SO much is happening in the world, and I want to comment on it, but I either don't feel up to the challenge, or new things happen and make my half-composed new posting seem dated. Trust me....I want to write about the financial crisis, the election, and the second annual demise of the Mets, and I will. So, to break the ice, a quick funny (true) story...



Last Thursday night (Friday morning) at 3:15 AM, I was awakened by loud knocking at my door. Actually, the knocking did not wake me, Dovie barking like a lunatic got me up, and then I heard the loud, continuous knocking. I should have realized WHO knocks like this, but I had to ask...."Who is it?" Of course, the answer was...

"POLICE!!"

My first thought was....."ditch the drugs", which only proves what I have said for years "If you woke me up suddenly and screamed in my face 'how old are you?', the answer would be '17'". I then realized that I would not need to ditch my blood pressure pills, so I said "Let me put some pants on.".....which is what people always say on "COPS".



When I opened the door there were two uniformed officers from our modern NYCPD, a chubby Jewish guy and an African-American woman. I would have preferred Officers Reed and Molloy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrdbgYYBnvI .



I wanted to say something witty, but chickened out with "What's the problem officers?"

"We need you to move your car.", said Officer Chubby.

"I thought that spot was legal, but wouldn't a ticket have been sufficient?"

"No, no, there's a gas leak, and the fire department needs your car moved so they can check it out." said Officer Chubby's partner.

So, I took a one block ride in the back of the police car, and got to see their big computer screen with MY name and address on it. How cool is that?

When we arrived at my car there were three fire engines in the vicinity, with their lights flashing. There were 15 bored looking firemen sitting near my car. One of them said, "You have to move your car.", prompting me to say,

"Is it dangerous?"

The friendly fireman then said....."Yeah, it's about to blow, that's why we're all sitting here."

I think Officer Chubby's partner realized that although this was kinda funny, it wasn't very com-mu-ni-ty friendly, and that if I turned and walked home they'd have to arrest me (and do all kinds of paperwork), so she said,

"I'll move the car, give me the keys."

I let the firemen sit near the undangerous gas leak, and moved across the street so my car could be moved.

The Officers thanked me, and I then had to look for another parking spot. My car STUNK of gas. Question, if I had lit up a cigarette and exploded myself, would the City be liable?

Next post: Top 10 reasons I'm voting for Obama

Law & Pizza (Part 3)

The Peruvians agreed to pay Mohammed $1000 per month for 5 years. Mohammed asked me if I would collect the payments, for which he offered to pay me $50 (cash!!) each time. I would go at lunch time so I could get a free “two slices and a coke”. At first, Marco had the cash waiting for me. As time went on, there were times they didn’t have all the money, and would get the rest out of the register. I always felt bad when that happened.

We would go in the back to count the money. One day as we were counting a mouse ran between our feet.

I said “Marco….a mouse!!!”
He said, “He's not my mouse, he comes from the supermarket next door.”

I skipped my slices that day.

After about two years of this, I got a call from Marco’s lawyer.

He said, “You and your client are going to be happy….Marco is selling the pizzeria and he will pay off his balance to Mohammed.”

“Cool, who’s buying it?”

“Afghans.”

“Dogs?!?!”

"No, two guys from Afghanistan. "

It was true. We had a closing. Marco sold to the Afghans, and Mohammed was paid. I was done with my All-America pizzeria. It had come full circle…..Albanian to Egyptian to Peruvian to Afghan.

Elias Sports Bureau advises it’s the only time in history THAT has ever happened.

Law and Pizza (Part 2)

I didn't know exactly what kind of papers I could make, but I had a sense all the players would play ball. The Albanian would play because he wanted to get paid, the landlord would play because he wanted to get paid, and the creditors would play because they wanted to get paid. I also figured the landlord and creditors would prefer happy Egyptian to shrugging Albanian.

I was mostly right. Mohammed arranged some "private financing". In the military they call this "don't ask, don't tell". He had enough money to do what the landlord wanted....pay five months back rent and accept an assignment of the old lease. I actually negotiated a five year extension for Mohammed, conditioned upon him paying the first years rent on time, which he actually did.

The creditors were a little harder. I told Mohammed to try to negotiate with them, but if any of them gave a big problem, to have them call me. One call went like this......

"Counselor, I understand you represent the Egyptian pizza guy on Jamaica Avenue. My name is Vincent. I represent the Scarola Flour Company."
"Oh, are you their attorney?"
"No, let's just say I take care of business for them."

Hmmmm.....Sometimes when your client has financial problems you help them prioritize their debts. Something told me Scarola Flour Company was a priority creditor. Mohammed agreed, and told me Vincent had assured him that if he paid what the Albanian owed ($1200), and if he made his future payments on time, Vincent would not visit him any more. Mohammed adjusted his budget and brought me $1200 for Vincent.
"Will you make a paper with him Mr. Barry?" he asked.
"I don't think Vincent goes for papers, and I don't think we need papers with him."
So, I took care of the business with Vincent, and papers were not needed.

We also got the Albanian to accept three years of notes on the amount he and Mohammed had originally discussed, with payments to start in six months. The Albanian had a lawyer who may have been Croatian. I couldn't tell, between his accent and his grunting. At least he could get the Albanian to talk. At the closing I asked them what language they spoke to each other. The Albanian shrugged, and the lawyer grunted. Mohammed then whispered to me...."Who the fuck cares."

Mohammed seemed to be doing OK as a pizza man. About two years later, he called and told me he was selling the pizzeria to "two Peruvian guys". He said, "This time I want you to make the papers from the beginning."

So, we set out to sell the pizzeria to the Peruvians.

Next.....Law & Pizza (Part 3)

Law & Pizza (Part 1)

(*all stories true, all names fictitious)

Until I started practicing, I didn’t realize how many different things solo practitioners did. Every “small” business has legal business. All these “business people” are always “doing business”. The small business chain is particularly fragile when you sprinkle the human links with some other ingredients. Start with cultural differences, add liberal doses of immorality, greed and stupidity. Stir. You now have the type of case young lawyers often get, the “Purchase or Sale of a Business”.

I got a Yellow Pages call from an Egyptian accountant named Omar Haggag. He lived in Brooklyn, worked in lower Manhattan near my office, and needed me to write his landlord a letter regarding some repairs. I did the letter, the repairs were done, and Omar told me I was a great lawyer. The next week he called and said that although he was a New York State sales tax auditor, he also had a small accounting practice in Brooklyn, with mostly Egyptian clients. Would I be interested in accepting referrals? I thought this would be good opportunity, and it was. Over the years Omar sent me many good clients. After awhile we had a running joke. Omar would call, and in his accented English say “Mr. Barry……a man is going to call you regarding the sale of his shish-kabob cart”. “OK, Omar, what’s the man’s name”.
“Well, his first name is Mohammed”.
And I would say “I know that, from now on just call and give me the last names.”

Most of his referrals were productive, practice builders. Some weren’t so good.

Mohammed Elgazi had purchased a pizzeria in Queens. At least that’s what he said. What he had actually done was give a $20,000 to some Albanian men, have discussions about future payments, and started running the pizzeria. He had also lost all his remaining working capitol in Atlantic City. He was having fun making the pizza, selling it to the school kids, and being a boss. The Albanians never bothered him about the rest of the money, and it soon became apparent why. They had left the store many months behind in rent, owing money to all their suppliers, and delinquent in taxes. Mohammed was finding it hard to take delivery orders when every other call was from a creditor. I had him come to my office. He also brought another man, he’s a blur to me now, except I remember him as “The Albanian”. He never said a word, just shrugged his shoulders. “What about the lease?” Shrug.
“What about the taxes?” Shrug .
“What about the creditors?” Shrug.
I asked Mohammed what he wanted me to do, and he shrugged.
I called upon my years of education, and my four months of experience, and I shrugged. Now we were getting somewhere. Then I took out a yellow pad and pen. This prompted Mohammed to say something I had never heard before, but have heard many times since, “Mr. Barry, maybe you could make some papers to fix this.” ……..

Next……Law & Pizza (Part 2)

Random Notes

I am now 15 months and 110 entries into this blog.

Sometimes interesting things happen that seem blog-worthy, but they don't merit their own post. Sometimes they might actually BE blog-worthy, IF I gave them a shot.
Here are a few things.......

I am speaking at career day at Rebecca's high school next Friday. I have spoken to students before, and I like to show them the New York Law Journal, to demonstrate the wide variety of legal careers. I started hoarding back issues, but I knew I would not have enough. So, I called the Law Journal circulation department, told them what I was doing, and asked if they could send me some back issues. They agreed to send me 25 back issues. When I opened the box, I had 25 copies of a recent issue where the headline was "Lawyer Disbarred For a Second Time"!!!


I haven't been talking much about law practice lately, mostly because I have been too busy DOING it. Most "cases" are rooted in "problems" of some sort, and most problems have to do with people. I've had quite a few "dysfunctional family feud" cases lately. It's a challenge to remain detached and do my job, but after 25 years I see that detached is the only way. Would it be wrong for me to put up the following sign in my office......."If you have problems with everyone you have to deal with in your life, have you ever considered that the problem is YOU?"?

I've had Netflix for about two months now. I really enjoy it. If you are not familiar with this, you pay a flat monthly fee (my plan is about $16/mo). They send you 3 DVD's, which you can keep as long as you like. When you are done with one, you mail it back in a pre-paid envelope, and they mail you the next DVD on your prioritized queue. It is very easy to add movies to your queue, and very easy to change the order. When you mail one back, you get your next one 2 days later. It is very easy to search for movies, and you can search by actor, director, genre, and many other ways. All the movies have little synopses, which is very helpful. I try to keep 3 good ones here at all times, with something for everybody. This weekend I am looking forward to watching "August Rush" with Rebecca, a movie she saw in the theatre and loved. One great fringe benefit, for me anyway, is Netflix has drastically cut down on my TV watching. Of course, my TV watching consisted primarily of channel surfing. Watching a good movie, for a block of time, just feels.....healthier.

One thing I HAVE been watching on TV is the NCAA college basketball tournament. Not every game, but enough to make an observation about a particular player. Stephen Curry, a guard for Davidson, is the best college player I have seen in a long time. http://youtube.com/watch?v=2zbSn3AyxXg If you get a chance to watch him play, don't miss it.

One thing about blogging, I have new found respect for anyone who writes a regular column. My virtual hat off to all column writers and bloggers. Even when I don't agree with you, at least you are saying it.

My Weekend With Manny Part 4

This is the last installment of "Weekend With Manny"......I promise.

We went back to the Pompano casino, with a game plan of simulcasting/poker, buffet dinner, then simulcasting/poker. Actually, I didn't play poker before dinner, we bet on simulcast horse racing from all over the country. I insisted that Manny find a nice seat, because I suspected if I didn't remind him to do this, he'd stand the whole time. I think Manny thought we'd eat dinner at around 5, but we lost track of time and didn't think of it till 7. I hit two nice winners at the Meadowlands (something cool about betting a New Jersey track in Florida), and was ahead a few dollars.

We walked over to the buffet and there was a long line.

"Oh shit", my Daddy said.
"Don't worry Dad, it's a buffet, it will move fast because people want to eat and get back to gambling."

I saw people walking by with plates piled high with shrimps, crablegs, and other "high end buffet" stuff. The wait wasn't too bad, and the way it works is.....you pay, you are admitted, and you eat as much as you want. It's self-serve, except a waitress brings you drinks and coffee. Our entrance tab came to $54.

"Oh shit", my Daddy said.
"Don't worry Dad. First of all, I'm on vacation. Second, I'm ahead exactly $54 from horse racing. Third, let's enjoy some good food."

We split up to load our plates. I loaded up with shrimps and cocktail sauce. Also some brisket, some lasagna, and some fresh turkey with cranberries. And some salad.

I waited awhile for Manny to return, and started eating.

He then came over, and sat down with what looked like a cup of consomme.

I said, "What the fuck is that? A $54 cup of consomme?"

After he stopped laughing, and after I stopped laughing, he explained that he likes to check everything out first, have a cup of soup and THEN get his food. Who could argue?

He didn't eat that much, but then I realized why. He was saving room for desert. Fact is, the desert choice was extensive. While I picked at my rice pudding, he came back loaded with an impressive variety of cakes and pies. When he was almost done, we saw a woman walk by with an ice cream cone. Manny said "That looks good. I'd like to have an ice cream cone."
"So get one."
"I didn't see any."
"Dad, that lady had an ice cream cone, so they have it. You want me to get you one?"
"Yeah, vanilla.....with the kind of cone she had."
I brought back two ice cream cones. I can't remember ever enjoying one so much.

After that, I played poker for a few hours. Manny played horses, and assured me he was "taking it easy", and I believed him. He came over to the poker tables at around 11:30, and it wasn't busy, so nobody had a problem with him hanging out and watching. When it's busy that's frowned upon. I know he got a kick out of watching me play poker with "MEN", and I got a kick out of watching him watch. He hung out with me till about 1 AM. We drove home and reviewed the rules of the game he had just watched for two hours (Omaha hi-lo 8 or better). He had a pretty good idea, and we also reviewed some of the better hands. He really liked it when I stuck it to a nasty guy across the table and took down a big pot. I wasn't sure at the time if he had noticed that, but he had. He commented "That guy was a prick, everyone at the table was happy when you beat him."

We got home at 1:30!!!! I think we both felt like teenagers.

Next morning....what to do for breakfast....
I knew....."Pop, we're going to John G's, the place that Joan was raving about."
"But we don't know how to get there."
I just looked at him.
He said, "I guess you'll find out"

We had a great breakfast at John G's http://www.johngs.com/index.html Great food, good coffee, right on the ocean.

Back at the ranch, we rested till it was time for me to go. As you may recall, I finished the weekend by flying home during the Super Bowl. http://nylaw2law.blogspot.com/2008/02/super-at-36000-feet.html

Start to finish, it was a weekend that will be hard to beat.

My Weekend With Manny Part 3

After my mechanical triumph I told Manny I'd like to relax and read by the pool. I had never been to the Century Village pool, so I asked him to either come with me or show me where it was. Turns out there are about five pools in Century Village, a main pool and four "satellites". He recommended the nearest satellite pool, so off we went.

On the way there we met one of his neighbors. The conversation went like this.....

Manny: "Lucille, this is my son Barry."

Lucille: "The horse racing guy?"

Manny: "No, my other son."

Lucille: "Oh, nice to meet you."

A little background is in order. My brother, Brian Seidel, has been a harness racing trainer and driver for the past 30 years. I know, all across the Midwest my blog readers are thinking, "What kind of career is this for a Jewish boy from Queens?" It's not the usual, that's for sure. Here are some harness racing pictures from my archives.........





Picture on the left is Brian's first win as a trainer. Left to right is Manny, Brian, driver Ron Battoni and me. The horse was named "Master Vilas". He was blind in his left eye and raced with a special covering, which can be seen in the picture.

Picture on the right is a horse named Fly Fly Elsie, with Brian driving. In the photo, from the left is Brian's friend Eddie, Brian and Manny. I had put together an ownership group for Fly Fly Elsie, and she won quite a few races.











At the pool Manny introduced me to another acquaintance....

Manny: "Max, this is my son Barry."
Max: "The harness driver?"
Manny: "No, my other son."
Max: "Oh."

After awhile we walked back to the apartment and ran into another neighbor, Walter...

Manny: "Walter, this is my son Barry."

Walter (to me): "Driven any winners lately?"

Barry: "Nah, that's his other son."

Walter: "Oh."

Upstairs I made some sandwiches for us. As we sat down I said, "I'm enjoying this."

"What....lunch?"

"No, being the other son. It's......different. I kinda like it."

Manny said, "Are you sure? I mean, you know how proud I am of you, I just have more opportunities to talk about Brian because people find it interesting."

"Dad, it's totally great. Actually, I'm looking forward to telling Brian about it."

We both laughed till we were coughing.

Then we made our plan for the rest of the day. He wanted to go back to the buffet at Pompano for dinner, followed by more simulcasting and poker. I had one small addition.....we should do simulcasting and poker before dinner too!

Next: My Weekend With Manny Part 4......Buffet dinner and late night at the casino.....

My Weekend With Manny Part 2

Just prior to going to bed on night one, Joan made the shocking discovery that "the refrigerator light is out....I'll have to call someone to fix it."

Manny was in his pajamas, but said "I'll fix it tomorrow."
Joan said, "I'll have to call someone."
Manny said "I can fix it, but it will have to be tomorrow."
Joan said, "OK".

I was up first the next morning. The fridge light was still out. Joan was up next, went to the refrigerator, and said "I'll have to call someone to fix this."
When Manny came into the kitchen, she said to him, "The light in the refigerator is out, I'll call someone today."

I was expecting him to blow up, but he said nothing. I felt like blowing up, but instead I said, "I'm sure I can fix that." I knew that ACTION was required, so without much ado I placed the contents of the top two shelves on the counter, and quickly removed the top two shelves so I could assess the situation. Manny was amazed at my assertiveness and said "What are you doing?"

My answer shocked him even more....I said "Have you got any tools?"

Putting things in perspective......Manny is pretty handy. However, my main recollections of Dad fixing things involve cursing and nervousness. I hated being around that, especially since I have those tendencies too (genetic? or learned?). I always shied away from any "do it yourself" work. I've often noted my strength area when it comes to repairs is "yellow pages". That being said, I have gained SOME experience and confidence at minor repairs. I take a calm, studied approach, and I know my limitations. Refrigerator light (with cover over the bulb) is in my jurisdiction. Unbeknownst to my hosts I had recently removed "cover of oven light" (a much BIGGER job) at home.

Manny went to get his tools, while Joan said "I'll call someone, you don't need to do this."

But I DID need to do it.

Manny had a big tool kit, but he did not have the adjustable wrench I needed to remove the grating over the bulb. However, he did have my favorite tool, the vice grip. I took it from the box and said "This'll work."
Manny said, "Whoa pal, you sure you know what you're doing?"
Joan said "I really should just call someone."
But they could not stop me, I was in the zone.

The vice grip enabled me to remove the two nuts and take off the cover. The bulb unscrewed and I handed it to Joan and said...."We need one of these." She silently went into the bedroom and brought me the exact bulb.

Neither of them knew how excited I was, and when I screwed the bulb in and it worked I screamed.........."LIGHT!!!!! I HAVE MADE LIGHT!!!!!!!!"

Then, without a word, I screwed the cover back on, put the two shelves back, and put all the food back in the fridge.

Manny then said, "Son, I'm so proud of you. Not because you fixed it, but because you were so calm. It's like you are.....mature."

Joan said, "You guys want scrambled eggs today?"

Tomorrow....my Weekend With Manny Part 3.

My Weekend With Manny

I spent Super Bowl weekend (Thursday thru Sunday) with my Dad in Florida. I went alone. I like going with the whole family, but it's hard to work it all out, and it gets expensive, and what the heck, I wanted to try it this way. After all, as Joan (his companion for the last 25 years) optimistically pointed out...."How much longer has he got?" I hated to admit it, she had a point. The fact is, for 82 he's doing pretty well. His mind is fine, he still drives (though not so much at night....a Florida thing), and we still have fun together. The thought of some day saying "I shoulda" was abhorrent, so I did it.


I arrived in Fort Lauderdale airport on time, got my rented car, and drove up to Century Village in Boca Raton. Manny always seems amazed that I'm able to "work these things out", but we don't dwell on it. I've heard Century Village called "Cemetary Village", but I like to think of it as "college dorm life for old people."





When I arrived Joan made me some bagels and cream cheese. She also offered some creamy herring with onions, which I declined.....though Manny enjoyed it. I proudly showed him my Super Bowl grids and boxes, with the extra copies I had made for him, and he assured me that he "would never understand it".

We then reviewed our itinerary, which we had discussed on the phone the week before. The plan was "to play nine holes of golf on Friday morning, and then see how things go". Manny and I have a common golf background, we both started late in life and we are pretty bad at it. Considering he never played until he was 60, he's actually not bad. It's a tribute to his natural athletic ability. I started in my 30's and have no excuse. I don't keep score, and I am fine with just being out there and taking a zen approach (as an aside, here's an Amazon link to a cool golf book Golf in the Kingdom http://www.amazon.com/Golf-Kingdom-Esalen-Michael-Murphy/dp/0140195491.

We did not golf in the Kingdom, we opted for a nine hole executive course in Margate, http://www.golflink.com/golf-courses/course.asp?course=1794856 Nine holes on an executive (which means smaller and faster playing) course is just right. We had perfect weather, 72 and sunny, and played a relaxing round with two ladies who did not know each other. For any non-golfers, you usually play in groups of four. When you go as two, they hook you up with another two, or with two singles. It's one of the best things about golf. 99% of the time you play with nice people, and this ran true to form. It was a perfect start to the trip, and now we were in "seeing how things go" time.


Next stop was lunch at a restaurant called "Lesters". Manny likes it because "it's like a real diner, which is unusual in Florida".







As soon as we finished our excellent diner burgers, Manny said "I have an idea, let's go to the simulcasting at Pompano, and you can check out their poker room." I suspect this was his plan all along, but he wanted to keep it "between us" until he left the house. I thought this was a great plan, so we drove 10 minutes to Pompano Race Track. The present gambling thing in Florida are casinos that have slots and poker, but no table games. They also have simulcasting of horse racing from all over America. Works for me!!!

This is the place we went to.... http://www.theislepompanopark.com/home.php VERY nice.

As soon as we got inside, Manny said "Oh, I goofed, we should have eaten here at the lunch buffet. Great food, great prices." I told him not to worry, we had a great lunch. Let's bet some horses and play poker. So we played there for about two hours, and returned to base at dinner time.


We then went out for dinner with Joan, her daughter Debbie (lives in Florida now) and Debbie's daughter Elisa (visiting from Jersey). We drove to a restaurant in Ft. Lauderdale, and all things considered, it was enjoyable. Joan did ask, "Why didn't you guys go to the buffet at Pompano.....Manny, why didn't you take him to the buffet?" Oy. Fortunately this didn't go on too long, because she wanted to tell us all about the the outrageous breakfast place they had been to that morning, a place in Lake Worth called "John G's". They talked about it until the name was emblazoned in my cerebral cortex. But nothing a few martinis wouldn't fix.


All in all, a great day.


Tomorrow, more Weekend With Manny.

Alternate Universe

Did you know we are frequently interacting with an alternate universe?

I'm talking about "hip-hop" or "rap" or whatever title is given to the culture/lifestyle that exists unto itself. I am not judging it, not the music (I was tempted to type that as "music", but that would be judgmental), not the promotion and manipulation, not the individual participants.

The vast majority of society is remotely aware that there is this "thing", that has something to do with a style of music that most people reject and ignore. That is a right, and most will accept the rights of others to accept and reject as they please. Most also respect the rights of others to participate and enjoy, and so an alternate universe grows. An alternate universe also grows as it is spurned, rejected or ignored by the majority. Was the growth of rock music and the 60's counterculture any different? Perhaps, and I will address the similarities and differences in a future post.

What I'm referring to is knowing more about what we don't know, and being aware when the alternate universe is interacting.

What I'm talking about here is Souljah Boy, and the song Crank Dat. Don't know it? If you go to any Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or any junior high or high school dance, you have heard it. There is a dance that goes with it. The tune is kinda catchy, it gets in your head. There's something in the song about Superman, but the words are hard to understand.

I asked Rebecca (my 14 year old daughter) if the song is about "bitches and ho's". She said she didn't know, and I suspect she did not know, as she doesn't listen to rap (her choice, and she has told me there are songs she likes, but it's not her interest musically). I googled for it, and as a public service I print the lyrics......next time you are at a party you can think about them as you watch your pre-teen daughters dancing and laughing to it....

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/souljaboy/crankdatsouljaboy.html

I like the part where he "super soaks that hoe", but hey....maybe the song is about gardening, or something.

Here's a bonus link.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JWAuklRo94

Have fun at the Bar Mitzvahs, and hey, remember to never ask your kids about the alternate universe.