Sunday, January 18, 2009

More Pearls (and Perils) of Per Diem

By popular demand....here are a few more....

Treat your per-diem appearances as if you were appearing on your own case. If that means you care more about the case than the attorney who sent you, so be it.

If there is a major problem with a case, and you think the attorneys who sent you don't know it, tell them. I'd want someone to tell ME!

Sometimes attorneys want to do per-diem work and be part of your "crew". Not everybody can multi-task their appearances and maintain quality. Not everybody is ready to adhere to the per-diem "code of honor". OK, there isn't an actual code, but the thing is, not everybody is trustworthy. My approach is, I'll try out a new person, carefully, and they have to earn trust. If they don't understand this, I don't trust them.

If something screwy starts to happen on a per diem assignment, especially if you are appearing for an attorney the first time, DOCUMENT what is happening. I've had offices "abandon me" during an appearance (by not responding to calls from court, or not having anyone in authority in their office). It doesn't happen often, but I've had it happen. My approach on these is to "protect the client" (as opposed to the lawyer), and next "protect myself". I document the problem with an eye towards protecting myself in the event things really blow up. I know, sometimes all this extra work is not worth the $100 you might get paid (cuz these bad guys will stiff you too), but you have to do the extra work and protect yourself. These are "perils" of per-diem.

Pay attention to collections!!! It does you no good to bill $100K and only collect $60K. This is especially bad when you have subbed out some of your work (and paid your crew). Most lawyers pay their per diems, but it only takes a few big stiffers to really hurt you. Here are a few tips:

1. Set balance limits for open credit and stick to them. I use $500 with new attorney clients. If they are beyond 30 days and $500, I CALL. This is very important. If they act like weasels about it, cut them off.

2. Related to #1 is, set yourself up to accept credit cards. If an attorney reaches $500 and more than 30 days, and they won't pay by credit card, cut them off.

3. Beware of high volume clients who don't pay ALL the bills. I hate when this happens and it happens with some regularity. Sometimes it's innocent, and it happens because if your bill is also your report, it may go in the file and not to the check writer. The way to curb this is to send statements which are a compilation of the open bills. When I receive a payment for invoices that are later than some open invoices, I address this immediately.

4. Beware of round figure payments "on account". This can be innocent enough, but it causes confusion. When this happens, send a memo indicating what invoices you applied the payment to, and confirming the open balance. In this memo you should ask that payments refer to specific invoices.

5. Share information with your competitors about the bad payers out there. This is more difficult than it seems. I only want to give this useful information if I am getting useful information. What do the non-paying vermin do when we share information about them? We usually see them coming to court themselves, which I always find gratifying, or they go lower in the food chain and rip off some new per diem.

6. Speaking of non-paying vermin, if some lawyer doesn't pay me, and won't work with me, or make a credit card payment, I sue in Small Claims Court. Sometimes these lawyers play games when I do this, but I persist. Recently, after some jokers adjourned my Small Claims case 3 times by asking for a hearing "by the Court", they missed an appearance and I got a default judgment. I sent them a letter and they didn't pay. So, what I did was, I paid a City Marshal $40 to serve a notice at their office (probably served on a secretary) saying that he was going to seize their furniture and computers and auction it off. Two days later I got paid in full with interest. They'll never call me again, which is just an added bonus.

Gosh I love this business!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Pearls of Per Diem

It might be a stretch to call per-diem court appearances "Zen-like" or "other-worldly". That being said, I have some philosophical observations about making multiple court appearances on behalf of other attorneys.....

The appearance I hate most....is my last appearance.

It's harder to do two appearances than twelve appearances.

If you don't know what the case is about, you should find out before you say something stupid.

If you think you shouldn't be making the appearance, you are probably right.

When you are per-diem to the per-diem, and perhaps they were per-diem, you should make sure you are not your own grand-pa. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw (This version is pretty funny, but I once saw Uncle Floyd do it LIVE, which was excellent).

If you end up covering both sides too often, you could go blind.

If you have a choice to "go make the copies" or wait for someone else to "make the copies and bring them back for you"....go make the copies.

If an appearance has a lot of parties it's efficient to be LAST, as long as you are not LATE.

The TV show that is most like per-diem appearances was M.A.S.H., especially when they talked about "meatball" surgery.

If you are on an appearance with multiple parties and you know nothing (which happens all the time), and all the other parties are blaming one of the parties for causing the accident, invariably YOU are representing that party.

If you know what you are talking about (hey...it happens!!!), and the Judge asks what the case is about.....TALK FIRST, and keep talking till someone tells you to stop.

In the movie "Defending Your Life" (one of my favorites...if you have never seen it, I highly recommend) there is a great scene featuring a per diem lawyer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbn-2OEsgr0

In a desperate per-diem situation, when all else fails, there is always......the truth.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Other Side of the Desk

Sometimes as a lawyer, I want to switch places with the client, and say "Here, you sit at my desk, I'll be the person with the problem, and you can see what it's like." There are many things people don't realize about lawyering. Here are a few....

There is never "one right way" to handle something.

There is usually not a "right answer" to any question. Anyone can find THAT, and the client would not be there if there were. Most situations are multi-layered, with results coming in inter-dependent layers. Not so simple.

We often don't know, but we know we can find out.

Sometimes the best research is "calling someone who knows".

The Courts really don't care about your case or your problems. It's not that they are mean or callous (though some are), it's that there are so many cases and so many problems that they CAN'T care. When clients don't understand this, I refer to it as "terminal self-importance".

Court clerks really know the court system. Lawyers have to be nice to them or nothing gets done.

The best lawyers are not the fancy talkers, but the straight talkers. Clients, judges and juries like them best. The best trial lawyers fit this description.

You can make a lot of money as a lawyer, but not all do. It's not a license to print money, and many lawyers struggle financially.

Ethical questions come up every day. This is not because lawyers are unethical, most are highly ethical. Questions come up because the nature of solving problems involves knowing where the legal and ethical boundaries are.

We often feel "besieged", by clients, Judges and adversaries.

Law practices have the same issues as any business....marketing for new business, controlling overhead, managing employees, with the added overlay of a "product" (legal services) that is difficult to quantify.

I don't see lawyers as a problem in society....when people say this my reaction is that lawyers reflect societal values. I would not deny that defective social values breed the legal behavior many abhor.

One skill lawyers have to have, and most DO have, is the ability to explain things. If I want something explained (like a baseball play, or a movie), most lawyers are above average-excellent at this. Many times as a lawyer, if I am trying to persuade someone, the MOST important aspect of persuasion is to EXPLAIN THE FACTS CLEARLY. Once that is done, the argument is essentially made.

OK, let's switch the seats back.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Tribute to Donald Westlake

One of my favorite writers, Donald E. Westlake, died on New Years Eve at age 75. Here's a link to his NY Times obituary http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/02/books/02westlake.html

When I like a fiction author, I generally read EVERYTHING they have. My good friend Mitch introduced me to Donald Westlake about 15 years ago. The books I liked best were the "John Dortmunder" series. As a tribute to Donald Westlake, I will tell you about this series, and why I enjoyed it so much.

John Dortmunder is a hard-luck, likeable burglar. He's not an ordinary burglar, he's more of a general contractor of big heists. Many of the books follow a familiar plot line. Dortmunder's friend Andy Kelp gets a lead on a potential big job. It's usually something daunting, and seems impossible. Dortmunder is asked to "look it over". If it has potential, he puts together the necessary crew, and many of these characters appear repeatedly. These are:

Dortmunder - the planner, plus basic lockpicking and safecracking
Kelp - steals vehicles (always MD plates so you can park), versatile with other skills too.
Stan Murch - expert driver....obsessed with routes and traffic, but first and foremost, a driver.
Ma Murch - Stan's mother, a cab driver, appears if a second driver is needed.
Tiny Bulcher - big, strong and scary. Muscle as needed, but more important, carries stuff.

If a job requires more....an expert lock man, a demolition person, a computer whiz, they'd bring one in too.

The fascinating thing was the depth and ingenuity of the PLANNING for the jobs. After reading for awhile, you realize that Dortmunder is the respected leader on every job because he has the one skill that is indispensible......his job is to "think of everything". As he tells the crew each thing he thinks the job needs, you say to yourself "oh yeahhhhhh" Of course, despite the ingenius planning, things always go wrong. Dortmunder seemed to expect this, and then made further plans to solve the problems. Some may be familiar with the movie "The Hot Rock" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068718/ (starring Robert Redford as Dortmunder and and George Segal as Kelp), where a valuable gem is stolen and lost and re-stolen several times. It's a funny movie, worth renting if you can find it, but as usual....the book is WAY better.

If this brief intro inspires anybody to check out Donald Westlake, it will be worth it. I know I am always appreciative of a good book/author recommendation. While I am thanking Mitch for Donald Westlake, here's a bonus recommendation for my readers (also originally courtesy of Mitch). Mystery writer Lawrence Block. I've read at least 30 of his books. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Block (well worth checking out if you are looking for an author to try). I like the "Matt Scudder" series (retired NYC detective turned private eye....in earlier versions he is an active alcoholic, in later years he is in AA.....the drinking/abstinence issues pervade the series). Another series is Bernie Rhodenbarr, another funny burglar series, though he operates strictly solo. Then there's Keller, a hit man you can love....though he's kinda psycho and I don't always love him.

I hope you try some of these and like them. Got any recommendations for me?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Let Them Drink Water

"What'll It Be?"

"I'll have the 'all you can eat special'......and a Diet Coke"

New York Governor Paterson's recent proposal to tax non-diet soft drinks http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/soda-tax-plan-sparks-a-debate/ should be applauded for one reason only. It will get people talking about the question of whether diet sodas are healthy. There has been some reference to this tax as an "obesity tax". This stunned me, as I firmly believe that not only are diet sodas unhealthy, they CAUSE obesity.

I know, just because overweight people are often seen buying and consuming diet soda, I should not make the simplistic assumption that diet soda caused the obesity. I know it did not. Over-eating the wrong foods, lack of exercise and (perhaps) genetics is the CAUSE. But has diet soda ever helped an obese person LOSE weight? If there was an ounce of evidence that this could remotely happen, wouldn't the diet soda purveyors be flaunting this? They do not, because they know diet soda has zero to do with reducing obesity. My non-scientific observation is that drinking diet soda tricks obese people into thinking they are "doing something about their problem", which paradoxically causes them to ignore the root issues, thereby exacerbating the problem. In logic, I think this is called the "Tab-Conundrum".

This diet soda exception reeks of lobbying, desperation and stupidity. I was insulted by the idea of exempting diet soda from a soft-drink tax. Am I the only one? Soft drinks are unhealthy crap, designed by the mass-food industry to be addictive. Diet sodas are crappy soft-drinks with the sugar taken out, and chemical substitutes added.

There are numerous examples of legislative efforts to tax "unhealthy" products, to raise revenue and discourage unhealthy (and therefore costly to society) behavior. Most people have no problem with a heavy tax on cigarettes. Most of us understand why gasoline is taxed (our society is addicted to it, we should use less, and the tax raises massive revenue).

I don't have a problem with soft drinks being taxed, if it's ALL soft drinks. I can imagine a board meeting at Coke, where they can't be happy about their flagship product being taxed, but also realizing the benefits in touting the tax savings of their "healthy alternative". Ughhh

What will be next? Coffee is a logical candidate. It's addictive, probably unhealthy, and widely used. Would we exempt de-caf? Frappuccinos?

What about tea? Hmmm, revolutions have started over taxing tea. Maybe that's why diet soda is exempted...fear of revolution from the Diet Coke community.

Excessive television watching is unhealthy, contributing to obesity and mental stupification. Maybe we should tax it.....would we exempt PBS? How about radio, would it be subject to the "sedentariness tax"?

Maybe this issue comes at the right time, when people are looking for ways to cut costs. I wonder how much money people would save if they didn't drink soft drinks at all? If they cured their addiction.....and I call it an addiction because people believe they NEED to drink soft drinks. The fact is, if you drink WATER (as is, or with a squeeze of lemon or lime......a 19 cent lime works for about 6 glasses of water), you'll never look back. Except to look at the soda companies to say "good-bye, and thanks for nothing".

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Throw Back the Little Ones

The nature of law practice, like any small business, forces you to think about where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. I think I do this more as I get older, realizing there is not an infinite time frame to get it right.

This morning I was thinking about what I want to do, but it's so hard to stay focused on THAT. My learned thought patterns keep taking me back, thinking about what I've done....usually what I've done wrong. At best, I get to what I'm doing now, that is, what I'm presently doing wrong. Do I have to get past these to think about the future? I don't know, if you figure it out let me know, we can write a book and go on Oprah together.

I DID figure out that I want to be working on things that excite me, BIG projects and bold business ideas. I've had some of these kicking around for years, and they haven't been done. Why? WHY?? One reason is working on a high volume of small stuff, rationalized under the heading of "having to make a living". Would I be making a better living if I were working on bigger and better things? If I had the courage to go after them? If I did not "keep busy" with the small stuff?

For some reason, FISHING came to mind. If I were fishing for bigger and more exciting things to do, what would I do with the smaller fish? Give em to someone else, or....THROW THEM BACK. Naturally, this made me think of the Steely Dan song "Throw Back the Little Ones". It's an obscure Steely Dan song, but I always really liked it. Here's a link....with lyrics, give it a listen, check out the lyrics, and let me know if you like it http://www.actionext.com/names_s/steely_dan_lyrics/throw_back_the_little_ones.html

If you are fishing, and you don't throw back the little ones, and if you keep bringing them on board, you know what happens? Your whole ship smells like mackerel!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

I'm taking a break from helping prepare for Thanksgiving. We will have 12 people today and 16 on Friday (our traditional left-over get-together with friends). We listened to Alice's Restaurant at noon....I wonder how widespread this tradition is. I decided to youtube "Arlo Guthrie Alice's Restaurant", and here's one for your viewing and listening pleasure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8DtpdXZi0M&feature=related

Of course, as often happens when I get clips from youtube.....one thing led to another, and I was looking at all kinds of related videos. With Arlo Guthrie came clips of "This Land is Your Land". That song feels very American and reminds me of Thanksgiving

Here's a young Arlo Guthrie with Pete Seeger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNXPeCOCaI4&feature=related

Here's something a bit later http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqZ3oNsMVr0&feature=related

Then I longed for the Bruce Springsteen version....which I suspect may show up at either the inauguration or at the Super Bowl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M-_KjKX29g

Then I found this one....Peter, Paul & Mary "If I Had a Hammer" very cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY2JEGLD0-k&feature=related

I am thankful for anyone and everyone who reads my blog,
and thankful to live in this great country, where we collectively did the right thing, and thankful we had the opportunity to do it, and we did it, and
thankful to be celebrating Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Happy Holiday to all.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My Two Wacky Ideas

I would pontificate about GM and Chapter 11, but much smarter people are already doing that. My brief take on it......no way they are getting bailed out with this Congress and President, they should be forced into Chapter 11 with government financing on the reorganization. Resisting the bail out pressure will put President Obama to the test.

Sometimes it seems like the whole economy should file for Chapter 11.

Things have gotten so complicated that I am reluctant to contact President-Elect Obama about my two BIG ideas. These are things I have been thinking about for a few years. Maybe I am not the only one who has thought of these things, but for once, I have not googled them because I want to feel like I thought of them. I want to develop them. I want these ideas to be put into action because I know they will work, despite their apparent oddness. I might even let some think-tanks tinker with them, maybe perfect some of the fine points. There may be some possible flaws in these ideas, but I can assure you, they are misguided and can be addressed to the satisfaction of any clear thinking person.

OK....here are the two ideas.....................

1. A cashless economy. I am proposing that we eliminate all cash money except one dollar bills and quarters. All transactions, and I mean ALL transactions, should be on credit/debit cards. I want everything in the economy accounted for and verified. No cash payments for anything. Nobody working illegally, nobody getting paid off the books, nobody skipping out on their taxes. I am proposing that EVERY single person pay ALL of the income taxes (and mandatory health insurance premiums) that they are supposed to, and I CHALLENGE anyone to show me how this will not substantially lower the tax and insurance burden on us all. I mean, you could probably balance the entire Federal budget just on proper taxation of restaurant owners and waiters.
The technology certainly exists to do this. A card for every legal American (oh, and I would grandfather in everyone who's already here, except criminals and people under age 65 who cannot speak English after a two year grace period...but that's another story), which will be security protected for each individual. ALL your transactions are on there....when it's time to file your tax return you just swipe your card and you know where you stand. When you get paid at work, your check is direct deposited. When you need "money" you can swipe your card at an "ATM" and get your dough on your card.
Oh, and don't tell me you don't want "big brother" watching you. I have no problem with Big Brother "watching" me.....as long as he is watching EVERYBODY. This is not about anybody watching anybody else. It's about making things FAIR. 'Cuz you know which part of our economy really needs Chapter 11'ing? All the stuff that's just plain not fair. All the things that really irk fair minded people from all perspectives. I don't like that my taxes are so high, and my crappy business owner health insurance is insanely expensive, but what irks me the most is that if everybody paid, these things would cost less.

My other idea is in the "foreign policy" area. I won't elaborate on it. I will just throw it out there for some thought. I personally think it would work, and would ultimately make the world a better place. Please think about.........





2. Israel as the 51st State.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Essence of "HEALTH" Insurance

Yesterday I visited my cardiologist for a regularly scheduled exam. It was thankfully uneventful, and since I was her last patient of the day, I was comfortable making some political/medical chit-chat. This was prompted by our review of my ever changing meds, which change not because my health changes, but because my carrier regularly switches presciption plans in an ongoing effort to save (their) money (undoubtedly at the expense of MY health and convenience).

I asked her what direction she thought Obama and the Democrats would take health care. I must admit, I expected her to talk about the dangers of "socialized medicine", so before she answered I threw in a preliminary "what we have been doing is not working".

She said, "You know which health insurer I find the best to work with, as a doctor?"
I said, "No, which one?"
"Medicare", she replied.

"How could that be?"
She answered, "Basically, they have a fee schedule and it is what it is. When we submit a claim, it seems to me they process it and pay it, efficiently. They seem to have very little waste, and studies have shown this is true. They are not being run "for profit", so they don't nickel and dime the doctors, and force that game where you put in high claims knowing they are going to be knocked down. It also burns me up when I see a retired doctor sitting as chair of Aetna, making $12 million a year. There's something wrong with that."

Wow! I asked if she thought nationalized health service would work, and whether quality of care would suffer. She did not favor nationalizing it, but said she felt strongly that McCain's talk about "the private marketplace" were the wrong way to go.

After I left, I could not stop thinking about this.

What really bothers me is the feeling that health insurance has nothing to do with health. It's strictly business. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lLaByD0LFY&feature=related Do you ever feel they would "err on the side of caution" and approve something? Without a fight?
Would premiums ever, EVER go down? Even if profits went up?
Have you ever looked at the game that goes on between doctors and insurers? The one where various bills are submitted for say.....$4300, and the doctors are paid $382.....when you know you had high level tests and were attended to by at least six highly trained, caring, competent health care professionals?
Should health insurance be adversarial? Damn, it always is.

I'm usually not big on conspiracy theories, but I sense that these problems do not only rest with the health insurers. Am I the only one who thinks there is something fundamentally wrong with our "pharmaceutical" system? Well, it has something in common with the insurance industry....a profit based system based on OUR health.

Gee, I feel like half a socialist having said that. Let me go one step further....Would anyone argue that food and nutrition have at least SOME effect on health? The disrespect of the nation's health by our food purveyors is another example of profit and health not mixing.

Uh - how about cigarettes? Yeah, that too....profit and health not mixing. BTW, many are aware (and many are not) that President-Elect Obama has struggled with cigarette addiction for many years. I'd love to see him kick it for good and take a real stand against the industry. It's hard to imagine he didn't smoke during the campaign http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwyrGwM4a7M

In one of the debates Obama spoke in some detail about healthcare, concluding with "prevention". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKS-D5_v9A0 He is so right about this, but he will be fighting strong entrenched power. When the time comes, this issue can be taken in the right direction, and it will not come from the government, though they can lead, it will come from all of us.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Top 10 Memorable Events....Where Will This Rank?

I was going to post a "post-election wrap-up", but so many smart people have already said and written so much, I'll keep mine brief. I especially enjoyed Frank Rich's column in The Sunday Times . http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/09/opinion/09rich.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I can't resist a few quick observations....

I thought the choice was a "no-brainer", and was horrified by the possibility of racial stupidity actually deciding it. Thankfully, we did a collective "Do The Right Thing". As an aside, if you have never seen "Do the Right Thing" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097216/ rent it!! It was groundbreaking because not only did it show white racism from a black perspective, it also courageously questioned many values in the black community.

Obama has incredible energy and stamina. Looks like he took a day off and is ready to get started.

I think Obama will bring in great people. Rahm Emanuel is just a start. If you don't know much about him, check this out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rahm_Emanuel

As an adjunct to dealing with the economy, I think immigration will be an early prominent issue. We're gonna need more taxpayers and more participants in universal health care!!

Look for "family values" to return to national discussion. When Obama talks about it, it will have an impact. One of the best things he said during the debates was that "Parents have to take responsibility for education and turn off the TV when necessary."



This election night strikes me as one of those all time "I remember where I was" moments. Will that last? Here's my list of top 10 memorable events (Personal events not included):

10. Mookie's gound ball going through Buckner's legs.
9. Iranian hostages freed.
8. The aftermath of Kent State....I was 13 years old and pretty "conservative". When I heard people justifying the shooting of college students, I changed my world view.
7. Watching the Watergate hearings drone on, when suddenly a Nixon aide said something about tape recordings, and thinking....WOW.
6. Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. A subway conductor announced it over the intercom.
5. John Lennon assassination.
4. Martin Luther King assassination.
3. Robert Kennedy assassination.
2. JFK assassination. I was in second grade. The teachers were crying.
1. 9/11

Obama's election may find a place on that list. How's your list? Will this election be on it?