After my recent deja vu experience, it seemed obvious we were supposed to see Crosby, Stills & Nash at Jones Beach. I was pleasantly surprised to find $20 tickets online. I asked the kids if they wanted to go, and they did (we have cool kids!), so I got four tickets.
On a nice summer night, there is no better venue than the Jones Beach theatre. We had one of those nights, about 75 and breezy, with a clear sky and a bright moon.
My daughter Rebecca (17) was somewhat familiar with Crosby, Stills & Nash, but of course I had to go on and on about how they are "cultural icons of the 60's".........part of a "dying breed of social commentators"......"they were at Woodstock".......and "they did the song OHIO, which is about Kent State, and it changed my world view". She accepts my commentary, but I heard myself sounding like a big "blah blah blah", so I decided to can it. She did ask me if I thought they would play "Deja Vu", and I said I hoped so.
Here are three guys in their late 60's, who still play and sing at the highest level and with tremendous feeling. The only noticeable concession is that Stephen Stills can't sing as well as he used to. However, they adjust their song selection to accommodate this, and he still plays a mean guitar. He was attacking his guitar solos, almost in defiance of his lowered place in the singing.
David Crosby and Graham Nash can still sing and harmonize like nobody else. David Crosby did most of the intros and talking, and after a few songs said "We always do one Neil Young song, and we always have a big discussion deciding which one to do, so here's tonight's Neil Young song." They then did "Long May You Run". It's a great song, though it is such a Neil Youngish song that I kept thinking "This song is missing something.....Neil Young". You can't replace this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nszR0tfp4Es , but it was still nice.
I was also surprised that they played many covers, including Norwegian Wood, Ruby Tuesday, Midnight Rider, Behind Blue Eyes and Girl From the North Country (a Bob Dylan song). These were well chosen and very enjoyable.
About halfway through the show, David Crosby said, "You know you can't come to one of our concerts without us playing Wooden Ships, but before we do, we want to get weird on you." Then they played Deja Vu. As we used to say at Stony Brook......"Pretty heavy". Here's a youtube of them performing the song 20 years ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiDOMuhpqUo It will give you the flavor, but I like the way they do it now even better.
The best song of the night was one that I had not considered a favorite, but I now change my mind. It was Guinevere. It was haunting and beautiful, and it also received the ultimate compliment when halfway through I noticed Felicia had a tear in her eye. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsmC1zrpwfQ&feature=related (Not our show, just a representative sample).
They did not do every song in their catalogue, and while everyone expected them to do "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" in the encore, they did not. When I looked at youtube clips of this song, it struck me that it's a Stephen Stills song that he probably can't sing to a satisfactory level. No big deal. Here is an interesting Wikipedia entry about the song, with some history and facts and I never knew http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suite:_Judy_Blue_Eyes
After the concert Rebecca wondered what these guys looked like when they were young. I had a great time looking at youtube clips and showing them to her. Here are a few.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az9Az6S1nus (Teach Your Children)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WGF5sA-3c (Suite: Judy Blue Eyes...at Woodstock)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QsSc95pPPY&feature=fvst (this one is "Down By the River", performed on the David Steinberg show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XWmwvT8bCw ("Almost Cut My Hair", in 2009, and a good sample of what they look like now)
Comments on this blog are always welcome.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Strange but True, Deja Vu
On Saturday we decided to drive down to Princeton to take a tour of the school. Princeton is a long-shot for anyone, but Rebecca warrants an application, so it was worth spending a day.
I have been to the campus many times, since my Mom lived the last 10 years of her life in Plainsboro, New Jersey, the next town from Princeton. I had not been around there since 1998, the last time being when Brian and I finished cleaning out Mom's apartment. I did not have any particular trepidation about going back there, I just haven't had a reason.
Our GPS suggested getting off at Jersey Turnpike Exit 9, and then taking Route 1 for 18 miles to Princeton. This seemed like a stupid way to go (too much Route 1 with lights), so I decided to ignore the GPS and go to Exit 8A (9 miles to that Exit) and go through Plainsboro to Princeton. Naturally, as soon as I passed Exit 9 we encountered heavy traffic all the way to Exit 8A, but in hindsight, I think we were supposed to get stuck in traffic.
When we got off at Exit 8A, we started driving on the very familiar Route 130. I had driven this route MANY times, and felt a warm feeling when we came upon the first cornfields. We were listening to a local Princeton radio station. Just as we approached the first cornfield, the Crosby, Stills & Nash song Deja Vu started playing.
I had to pull over for a moment. Deja Vu during my deja vu was a lot to handle. After I composed myself, I turned it up and kept driving. The cornfields were beautiful. Here's a youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiDOMuhpqUo If you are not familiar, check it out.
Lyrics:
If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what to do.
Don't you?
If I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With all of you.
And I feel
Like I've been here before
Feel Like I've been here before And you know It makes me wonder
What's going on under the ground
Do you know?
Don't you wonder?What's going on down under you.
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
I have been to the campus many times, since my Mom lived the last 10 years of her life in Plainsboro, New Jersey, the next town from Princeton. I had not been around there since 1998, the last time being when Brian and I finished cleaning out Mom's apartment. I did not have any particular trepidation about going back there, I just haven't had a reason.
Our GPS suggested getting off at Jersey Turnpike Exit 9, and then taking Route 1 for 18 miles to Princeton. This seemed like a stupid way to go (too much Route 1 with lights), so I decided to ignore the GPS and go to Exit 8A (9 miles to that Exit) and go through Plainsboro to Princeton. Naturally, as soon as I passed Exit 9 we encountered heavy traffic all the way to Exit 8A, but in hindsight, I think we were supposed to get stuck in traffic.
When we got off at Exit 8A, we started driving on the very familiar Route 130. I had driven this route MANY times, and felt a warm feeling when we came upon the first cornfields. We were listening to a local Princeton radio station. Just as we approached the first cornfield, the Crosby, Stills & Nash song Deja Vu started playing.
I had to pull over for a moment. Deja Vu during my deja vu was a lot to handle. After I composed myself, I turned it up and kept driving. The cornfields were beautiful. Here's a youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiDOMuhpqUo If you are not familiar, check it out.
Lyrics:
If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what to do.
Don't you?
If I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With all of you.
And I feel
Like I've been here before
Feel Like I've been here before And you know It makes me wonder
What's going on under the ground
Do you know?
Don't you wonder?What's going on down under you.
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Softball Playoff Update
The game lived up to its hype. The championship round matches up the two rival Lake Success teams. I'm a ringer on my team, an "outsider", but the other teams never care because I catch and bat 11th. Of course, if they realized I am our teams secret weapon and closet manager, they'd be seeking to bar me. I don't know if the teams have names or anything.....in my mind there's only "our team" and the "other" team. I love my team, but I don't feel the rivalry the way my teammates do. However, if my team is psyched, I'm psyched. If the rival is talking trash about our team (I heard one of them say we were 8-1 underdogs in the series), I'm mad and I'm playing hard.
The first game drew a big crowd, with wine drinking wives and extended family and friends. Lots of yelling and cheering. I admit it, the biggest crowd I've played in front of in a long time. It had both teams playing intensely and at a high level.
Softball wise, everybody knows what this series comes down to. The teams are evenly matched (personally I think we have significantly better players), but the other team has a great pitcher. OK, maybe "great" is too strong. He's a "B" league pitcher, pitching in a "C" league. He is MUCH better than any other pitcher in our league. He throws hard, and he never gives in and throws an easy one. He never "lays the first one in" to try and get ahead. His control is good enough to throw hard on any count. I actually like hitting against him, because he seems nice, and it's a challenge.
The other team also plays a smart defense, suited to their pitcher. They play their outfield very shallow, especially against weaker hitters, and they play their right fielder practically on the right field line. I will also say something nice about the other team.....they batted all the players who showed up. This makes it harder to score runs, as the better hitters bat less often, and some weaker hitters are using up outs. After all, in a seven inning game there are only 21 outs, and they all count. End of nice comments. I'd love to teach the opponents a lesson, the lesson being "it ain't much to brag about when you boost your mediocre team with a ringer pitcher". I do realize that regardless of the outcome of the series, lessons like this are lost on some people.
The game turned out to be a pitchers duel. We expected to have some trouble scoring runs. Not only is their pitcher good, but we went with a long lineup too. What was most impressive was that our pitching and defense made it a battle.
Both teams played tight defense and were making all the plays, with few errors. Going into the top of the 7th, we were down 2-1. In the top of the 7th we scratched out a run to tie the game at 2-2, and had a man on second with two outs. Had we managed one more hit to take the lead, I think we'd have clamped down and won. However, we didn't get it, and went to the bottom of the 7th, in the field with a tie score.
It's never comfortable for the visitors when the home team is batting in a tie game. There is no margin for error. With a man on first and one out, one of their batters hit a long drive to right center. I knew it was trouble right away, and I saw that as our shortstop went out for the relay, the runner was going to score easily, all the way from first. When the throw came in I didn't even bother to catch it, because the winning run had already crossed the plate and the other team was celebrating.
Except.....our third baseman (Jeff) was screaming at me "GET THE BALL!!!". I yelled back "WHY?!?!?" He said "APPEAL AT THIRD". So I got the ball, and noticed the umpire was still on the field, a good sign. I threw the ball to Jeff at third and looked at the umpire. He mumbled "You have to say something". I said "Appeal, he missed third base." And then....
the umpire made a fist with his right hand and and said "OUT".
Of course, the other team went nuts. Lots of screaming, calling the play "bush league" and the like. I had a good vantage point to hear all this nonsense, and at one point I turned to one of the apoplectic opponents and said "How hard would it have been to touch third base?" As an aside, I was told later by their third base coach that the runner had "missed it by a mile".
So it was back to baseball. Now we had a man on second and two out. We decided to walk the number six hitter and pitch to the next batter. I guess there was some poetic justice in what happened next.....the batter hit a single to left, and the winning run scored.
So, the 8-1 underdogs lost a nail-biter, 3-2.
Nothing to be ashamed of. Next game is Tuesday.
We can beat these guys!!! Let's get it on!!!!!
The first game drew a big crowd, with wine drinking wives and extended family and friends. Lots of yelling and cheering. I admit it, the biggest crowd I've played in front of in a long time. It had both teams playing intensely and at a high level.
Softball wise, everybody knows what this series comes down to. The teams are evenly matched (personally I think we have significantly better players), but the other team has a great pitcher. OK, maybe "great" is too strong. He's a "B" league pitcher, pitching in a "C" league. He is MUCH better than any other pitcher in our league. He throws hard, and he never gives in and throws an easy one. He never "lays the first one in" to try and get ahead. His control is good enough to throw hard on any count. I actually like hitting against him, because he seems nice, and it's a challenge.
The other team also plays a smart defense, suited to their pitcher. They play their outfield very shallow, especially against weaker hitters, and they play their right fielder practically on the right field line. I will also say something nice about the other team.....they batted all the players who showed up. This makes it harder to score runs, as the better hitters bat less often, and some weaker hitters are using up outs. After all, in a seven inning game there are only 21 outs, and they all count. End of nice comments. I'd love to teach the opponents a lesson, the lesson being "it ain't much to brag about when you boost your mediocre team with a ringer pitcher". I do realize that regardless of the outcome of the series, lessons like this are lost on some people.
The game turned out to be a pitchers duel. We expected to have some trouble scoring runs. Not only is their pitcher good, but we went with a long lineup too. What was most impressive was that our pitching and defense made it a battle.
Both teams played tight defense and were making all the plays, with few errors. Going into the top of the 7th, we were down 2-1. In the top of the 7th we scratched out a run to tie the game at 2-2, and had a man on second with two outs. Had we managed one more hit to take the lead, I think we'd have clamped down and won. However, we didn't get it, and went to the bottom of the 7th, in the field with a tie score.
It's never comfortable for the visitors when the home team is batting in a tie game. There is no margin for error. With a man on first and one out, one of their batters hit a long drive to right center. I knew it was trouble right away, and I saw that as our shortstop went out for the relay, the runner was going to score easily, all the way from first. When the throw came in I didn't even bother to catch it, because the winning run had already crossed the plate and the other team was celebrating.
Except.....our third baseman (Jeff) was screaming at me "GET THE BALL!!!". I yelled back "WHY?!?!?" He said "APPEAL AT THIRD". So I got the ball, and noticed the umpire was still on the field, a good sign. I threw the ball to Jeff at third and looked at the umpire. He mumbled "You have to say something". I said "Appeal, he missed third base." And then....
the umpire made a fist with his right hand and and said "OUT".
Of course, the other team went nuts. Lots of screaming, calling the play "bush league" and the like. I had a good vantage point to hear all this nonsense, and at one point I turned to one of the apoplectic opponents and said "How hard would it have been to touch third base?" As an aside, I was told later by their third base coach that the runner had "missed it by a mile".
So it was back to baseball. Now we had a man on second and two out. We decided to walk the number six hitter and pitch to the next batter. I guess there was some poetic justice in what happened next.....the batter hit a single to left, and the winning run scored.
So, the 8-1 underdogs lost a nail-biter, 3-2.
Nothing to be ashamed of. Next game is Tuesday.
We can beat these guys!!! Let's get it on!!!!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Softball Playoffs
Our team made the playoffs. Our opening playoff game was a single elimination against a team called "The Rookies". In the regular season we had split with them, winning the first game and then having them kill us in the second game. However, we played a flawless game and advanced to the next round.
Now we were in a "two out of three" series against "Sterling". Average age 35; strong and fast and aggressive. Their pitcher was pretty good too; very competitive and threw hard when he was ahead in the count.
In the first game we had a solid defensive effort, got some timely hitting, and some sloppy defense from the other side, and won 12-8.
In the second game we had a rude awakening, when we realized Sterling had been missing a few players the first game. Suddenly we saw guys hitting the ball to places we had never seen balls hit, and a shortstop who was catching EVERYTHING, both on the ground and in the air. We also got treated to the opponent taking extra bases and daring us to stop them. In short, they were treating us like "old guys", which we are. We lost this one 13-7, but it was really not a close game.
Going into the deciding game, the sentiment on our side was "What can we possibly do to beat these guys?" A few things were obvious:
- We had to play solid defense, and keep the extra bases to a minimum.
- We had to run the bases well, and be selectively aggressive. (We did notice they had a few weak outfield arms and could be pressured into throwing the ball around).
- We needed to hit well enough to make them make the plays. In other words, stay away from pop-ups and fly balls......so when in doubt.....DOWN AND HARD.
- We needed a good pitching strategy.....because in the prior game they killed us with long balls.
As catcher I was directly involved in pitching strategy. Our pitcher, Rick, has great control. It's a great feature, but when he becomes predictable, it is a downfall against strong hitters. He can throw harder when ahead in the count, but he is not overpowering. He does have an effective change-up, but again, when it becomes predictable it yields tremendous home runs.
One thing I noticed about the long hits in the second game, they were all to center field. They were also all on outside pitches. In the second game our left fielder didn't have a single fly ball hit his way. Very unusual, especially since Rick is not overpowering and throws change-ups. I suggested to Rick that we throw more pitches inside, even change-ups. I know as a hitter I hate inside pitches. They tie you up and take away your power. Outside pitches are much easier to hit hard because you can extend your arms and hit the ball on the best part of the bat. Throwing inside is easier said than done, but Rick agreed with this strategy and said he would try it. He also suggested that when he threw his change-up he would throw it with a higher arc, and even have some float in high, to try to tempt the aggressive Sterling hitters. I agreed with this idea. I also suggested that every so often he let loose a wild and hard pitch, maybe even over the batters head, just to keep them unsettled. He agreed to try it.
Our change in approach was VERY effective. Adding the inside pitches worked. There were quite a few fly outs to left and left center, and some infield pop-ups (which happens when big hitters try to hit inside pitches up the middle). Some of the pop-ups were on high change-ups. Rick threw a few high and inside too, and I sensed behind the plate that the hitters were not nearly as comfortable as they were in the prior game.
We had some timely hitting throughout the game, and the fact is, in the later innings Sterling made some errors on what should have been easy plays. However, this is not "luck" on our end, we applied pressure by forcing them to make plays and by hustling.
In the 6th inning I was involved in a big play in the field. The opposing pitcher also turned out to be one of their best hitters. In the 3 game series he had 10 hits in 11 at bats (no lie). Almost every hit was a line shot up the middle, and he also ran hard out of the box and went for a double every time. He was able to make it because our outfielders had to play so deep. When he came up in the 6th inning, we were ahead 7-6 and they had a man on second. He lined a single up the middle which scored the runner and tied the game 7-7. However, this time we held him at first. The next batter hit a single to right center, and I had a feeling the runner on first would try to score. Sure enough, he rounded third and never stopped, BUT, our shortstop (Mike) went out and got the relay from right, and realized the runner on first was probably coming. He threw me a strike, which I received in enough time to trap the overly aggressive runner between home and third. What ensued was an extended run down play, which ended with me tagging the runner out at home. The run down went on so long that the runner seemed exhausted. Run down plays SHOULD result in an out, but at our level they are by no means routine. It felt great to end their rally this way.
In the top of the seventh we scored two to make in 9-7. This did not feel comfortable, and it wasn't. They strung together a few hits and tied the game at 9-9. They also had the winning run on second with two outs. Time for some strategy. I went to the mound and suggested to Rick that we intentionally walk the hitter. Rick wanted to "pitch around him", but I really did not like that idea. There were a few reasons: I like setting up a force at third. I also thought that the next batter (the opposing catcher) was not as good a hitter as the batter. In addition, the next batter was a dead pull hitter, who had hit a triple down the left field line earlier in the game, and I thought he might change his swing with a force at third. We called in the infielders and collectively agreed to intentionally walk the batter. With first and second, the next batter hit a ground ball back to Rick, for the third out, and the game went into extra innings. Personally, I think he hit the comebacker because he altered his swing due to the intentional walk, but hey, I don't need to take credit.....walking that guy was the right move any way you look at it.
In the top of the 8th, we scored three times to make it 12-9. I had a small role in this. With a man on first and no outs, I hit a ground ball to third. My thought as I ran to first was "Oh shit, I just hit into a double play....run hard!!". I ran hard, figuring I would be trying to beat a relay throw on a double play. Instead, as I reached first I heard a lot of yelling, which turned out to be our fans cheering when the third baseman's throw to second pulled the second baseman off the bag. Another example of "down and hard" being better than balls in the air. Our next batter hit a single, which scored a run and sent me to third. I then scored on a sac fly.
So we went to the bottom of the 8th with a three run lead. Before the inning started Rick said to me "These guys are so aggressive they will probably still be swinging for the fences, even though they need baserunners. I'm gonna let 'em do that. What do you think?" I said "Go for it." We had our outfielders playing VERY deep, enabling them to catch very long drives for very big outs. Had Sterling just hit some line drives, they would have been doubles, that's how deep we were playing. But I have no problem letting opponents beat themselves. They went down one-two-three on two fly balls and a grounder to short.
I've played in a lot of games over the years, but this one was the most exciting and most gratifying.
Now we advance to the finals, against our arch-rivals. They lost only once during the regular season, they have a very strong pitcher, and they beat us twice. Can we come up with a winning strategy?
We'll sure try.
Now we were in a "two out of three" series against "Sterling". Average age 35; strong and fast and aggressive. Their pitcher was pretty good too; very competitive and threw hard when he was ahead in the count.
In the first game we had a solid defensive effort, got some timely hitting, and some sloppy defense from the other side, and won 12-8.
In the second game we had a rude awakening, when we realized Sterling had been missing a few players the first game. Suddenly we saw guys hitting the ball to places we had never seen balls hit, and a shortstop who was catching EVERYTHING, both on the ground and in the air. We also got treated to the opponent taking extra bases and daring us to stop them. In short, they were treating us like "old guys", which we are. We lost this one 13-7, but it was really not a close game.
Going into the deciding game, the sentiment on our side was "What can we possibly do to beat these guys?" A few things were obvious:
- We had to play solid defense, and keep the extra bases to a minimum.
- We had to run the bases well, and be selectively aggressive. (We did notice they had a few weak outfield arms and could be pressured into throwing the ball around).
- We needed to hit well enough to make them make the plays. In other words, stay away from pop-ups and fly balls......so when in doubt.....DOWN AND HARD.
- We needed a good pitching strategy.....because in the prior game they killed us with long balls.
As catcher I was directly involved in pitching strategy. Our pitcher, Rick, has great control. It's a great feature, but when he becomes predictable, it is a downfall against strong hitters. He can throw harder when ahead in the count, but he is not overpowering. He does have an effective change-up, but again, when it becomes predictable it yields tremendous home runs.
One thing I noticed about the long hits in the second game, they were all to center field. They were also all on outside pitches. In the second game our left fielder didn't have a single fly ball hit his way. Very unusual, especially since Rick is not overpowering and throws change-ups. I suggested to Rick that we throw more pitches inside, even change-ups. I know as a hitter I hate inside pitches. They tie you up and take away your power. Outside pitches are much easier to hit hard because you can extend your arms and hit the ball on the best part of the bat. Throwing inside is easier said than done, but Rick agreed with this strategy and said he would try it. He also suggested that when he threw his change-up he would throw it with a higher arc, and even have some float in high, to try to tempt the aggressive Sterling hitters. I agreed with this idea. I also suggested that every so often he let loose a wild and hard pitch, maybe even over the batters head, just to keep them unsettled. He agreed to try it.
Our change in approach was VERY effective. Adding the inside pitches worked. There were quite a few fly outs to left and left center, and some infield pop-ups (which happens when big hitters try to hit inside pitches up the middle). Some of the pop-ups were on high change-ups. Rick threw a few high and inside too, and I sensed behind the plate that the hitters were not nearly as comfortable as they were in the prior game.
We had some timely hitting throughout the game, and the fact is, in the later innings Sterling made some errors on what should have been easy plays. However, this is not "luck" on our end, we applied pressure by forcing them to make plays and by hustling.
In the 6th inning I was involved in a big play in the field. The opposing pitcher also turned out to be one of their best hitters. In the 3 game series he had 10 hits in 11 at bats (no lie). Almost every hit was a line shot up the middle, and he also ran hard out of the box and went for a double every time. He was able to make it because our outfielders had to play so deep. When he came up in the 6th inning, we were ahead 7-6 and they had a man on second. He lined a single up the middle which scored the runner and tied the game 7-7. However, this time we held him at first. The next batter hit a single to right center, and I had a feeling the runner on first would try to score. Sure enough, he rounded third and never stopped, BUT, our shortstop (Mike) went out and got the relay from right, and realized the runner on first was probably coming. He threw me a strike, which I received in enough time to trap the overly aggressive runner between home and third. What ensued was an extended run down play, which ended with me tagging the runner out at home. The run down went on so long that the runner seemed exhausted. Run down plays SHOULD result in an out, but at our level they are by no means routine. It felt great to end their rally this way.
In the top of the seventh we scored two to make in 9-7. This did not feel comfortable, and it wasn't. They strung together a few hits and tied the game at 9-9. They also had the winning run on second with two outs. Time for some strategy. I went to the mound and suggested to Rick that we intentionally walk the hitter. Rick wanted to "pitch around him", but I really did not like that idea. There were a few reasons: I like setting up a force at third. I also thought that the next batter (the opposing catcher) was not as good a hitter as the batter. In addition, the next batter was a dead pull hitter, who had hit a triple down the left field line earlier in the game, and I thought he might change his swing with a force at third. We called in the infielders and collectively agreed to intentionally walk the batter. With first and second, the next batter hit a ground ball back to Rick, for the third out, and the game went into extra innings. Personally, I think he hit the comebacker because he altered his swing due to the intentional walk, but hey, I don't need to take credit.....walking that guy was the right move any way you look at it.
In the top of the 8th, we scored three times to make it 12-9. I had a small role in this. With a man on first and no outs, I hit a ground ball to third. My thought as I ran to first was "Oh shit, I just hit into a double play....run hard!!". I ran hard, figuring I would be trying to beat a relay throw on a double play. Instead, as I reached first I heard a lot of yelling, which turned out to be our fans cheering when the third baseman's throw to second pulled the second baseman off the bag. Another example of "down and hard" being better than balls in the air. Our next batter hit a single, which scored a run and sent me to third. I then scored on a sac fly.
So we went to the bottom of the 8th with a three run lead. Before the inning started Rick said to me "These guys are so aggressive they will probably still be swinging for the fences, even though they need baserunners. I'm gonna let 'em do that. What do you think?" I said "Go for it." We had our outfielders playing VERY deep, enabling them to catch very long drives for very big outs. Had Sterling just hit some line drives, they would have been doubles, that's how deep we were playing. But I have no problem letting opponents beat themselves. They went down one-two-three on two fly balls and a grounder to short.
I've played in a lot of games over the years, but this one was the most exciting and most gratifying.
Now we advance to the finals, against our arch-rivals. They lost only once during the regular season, they have a very strong pitcher, and they beat us twice. Can we come up with a winning strategy?
We'll sure try.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Still Playin' Softball
I play on a softball team. Our games are on Tuesday at 6:30, but this week we played Monday and Tuesday to make up for a rained out game. This is fast pitch with balls and strikes (not arc pitch, not windmill). I love this style of play because the strategy and flow of the game is much like "real baseball". That is because all three aspects of the game (pitching, fielding and hitting) are important. Our league is evenly matched, with most of the games being close. We have some slugfests of the 15-14 variety, but some nights we'll have a 4-3 game too.
I'd say the average age on our team is late 40's. One or two guys are relatively in their prime, but the rest of us are at various levels of decline. Some guys were surely excellent players when they were younger, while some were average, and the declines are in proportion to where we used to be.
I've been playing catcher the past few seasons. In softball this is usually the position to play when you aren't too good in the field. This is probably true for me, but what I try to do is play catcher really well. I observe the other team's hitters, try to figure out the best strategy to pitch them, and discuss it with our pitcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeiYnVScg7w&feature=related However, we don't have many big meetings at the mound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lptsSTTWLVQ&feature=related I check out our fielding alignment and suggest adjustments when needed. I keep the fielders alert as to number of outs, and situations. About once a game there is a foul pop-up to go after (they are harder to catch than it looks, lots of spin). Fairly regularly there are plays at the plate. These are also harder than they look, and obviously, when there's a play at the plate its always important to the outcome of the game.
I always had a good eye at the plate and could hit pretty well. You'd never know it now, but I used to hit with some pop. Now I try to hit line drives, and sometimes will look for an outside pitch I can hit to right field. In fast pitch you have to be aware of the count, and if you are behind in the count, some pitchers will throw pretty hard, or try to get you to swing at tempting pitches out of the zone. Sometimes if I think a good pitcher is trying to get ahead of me, and if I think the first pitch is the best one I'll get, I'll jump on it. Sometimes I'll take a strike, just to look the pitcher over. I try to think about what I'm doing, but sometimes you can think too much, and it's better to just try to hit the ball "down and hard".
I have a few observations about softball, for what they are worth.....
There is a big difference between being 35 and 55.
If you hit the ball on the ground you have a much better chance to get on base than if you hit it in the air. The same could be said to Jose Reyes.
You can't win without good pitching.
If you throw to the wrong bases, run the bases poorly, or play sloppily, you won't win.
With first and second, on a ground ball to shortstop, the best play is usually a force at third.
With a man on second, and a single to the outfield, the best play is almost always to concede the run and hold the batter at first base.
If you are playing with 10 in the field (very common in softball), you have to decide whether to play four outfielders, or three plus a "short fielder". We usually play four, but in last nights game the other team killed us with a short fielder.
When the players on your team are nice, and the league is generally nice, it is much more fun. I played a few years for a Knights of Pythias Lodge team, where the people were not so nice, and I stopped playing because it just wasn't fun.
When I played for the Lodge team I was in my early 30's. I played shortstop and batted lead-off, in a pretty good league. Not only would the guys on my present team not believe this, I sometimes think I must have imagined it!
It would be nice to capture some magic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj2pXikeDRg
I'd say the average age on our team is late 40's. One or two guys are relatively in their prime, but the rest of us are at various levels of decline. Some guys were surely excellent players when they were younger, while some were average, and the declines are in proportion to where we used to be.
I've been playing catcher the past few seasons. In softball this is usually the position to play when you aren't too good in the field. This is probably true for me, but what I try to do is play catcher really well. I observe the other team's hitters, try to figure out the best strategy to pitch them, and discuss it with our pitcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeiYnVScg7w&feature=related However, we don't have many big meetings at the mound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lptsSTTWLVQ&feature=related I check out our fielding alignment and suggest adjustments when needed. I keep the fielders alert as to number of outs, and situations. About once a game there is a foul pop-up to go after (they are harder to catch than it looks, lots of spin). Fairly regularly there are plays at the plate. These are also harder than they look, and obviously, when there's a play at the plate its always important to the outcome of the game.
I always had a good eye at the plate and could hit pretty well. You'd never know it now, but I used to hit with some pop. Now I try to hit line drives, and sometimes will look for an outside pitch I can hit to right field. In fast pitch you have to be aware of the count, and if you are behind in the count, some pitchers will throw pretty hard, or try to get you to swing at tempting pitches out of the zone. Sometimes if I think a good pitcher is trying to get ahead of me, and if I think the first pitch is the best one I'll get, I'll jump on it. Sometimes I'll take a strike, just to look the pitcher over. I try to think about what I'm doing, but sometimes you can think too much, and it's better to just try to hit the ball "down and hard".
I have a few observations about softball, for what they are worth.....
There is a big difference between being 35 and 55.
If you hit the ball on the ground you have a much better chance to get on base than if you hit it in the air. The same could be said to Jose Reyes.
You can't win without good pitching.
If you throw to the wrong bases, run the bases poorly, or play sloppily, you won't win.
With first and second, on a ground ball to shortstop, the best play is usually a force at third.
With a man on second, and a single to the outfield, the best play is almost always to concede the run and hold the batter at first base.
If you are playing with 10 in the field (very common in softball), you have to decide whether to play four outfielders, or three plus a "short fielder". We usually play four, but in last nights game the other team killed us with a short fielder.
When the players on your team are nice, and the league is generally nice, it is much more fun. I played a few years for a Knights of Pythias Lodge team, where the people were not so nice, and I stopped playing because it just wasn't fun.
When I played for the Lodge team I was in my early 30's. I played shortstop and batted lead-off, in a pretty good league. Not only would the guys on my present team not believe this, I sometimes think I must have imagined it!
It would be nice to capture some magic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj2pXikeDRg
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Random Thoughts
I have watched some of the World Cup Soccer matches. The skill and athleticism is impressive. But what is the story with that humming sound throughout all the games? I heard the announcers say something about some noisemakers the South African fans are using. It is REALLY annoying. The networks must be furious about this........OK......I googled the question, and here's the story....its the "vuvuzela"
http://www.soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/13/vuvuzela-ban-could-come-to-world-cup/
Another thing about the World Cup. I kind of like the smug and well spoken British announcers. They announce the games like a golf match.
Last thing about the World Cup, and soccer in general. As a spectator sport, and a sport to talk about during a game, and for strategy.....gimme BASEBALL. Not even close.
Next topic - gulf oil spill. Man, there's a lot of oil down there! I don't understand the geology of how so much is shooting out of there for so long. Is this a typical well? An amazing well? How long would it have taken to "harvest" all the oil that's shooting out of there, had it not blown up? When I was in law school in Texas, a popular elective was "O&G" (oil & gas). I didn't take that class because I didn't see much use for it in Queens, but now I wish I knew the answers to my questions. All I really know about O&G is what I learned from the Beverly Hillbillies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOGM6gHvao
While I was "researching" the Beverly Hillbillies, I came across the theme from another cool show. All I can say is...they don't make em like this any more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4&feature=related
I'm always interested in what historical or cultural things people of different ages are aware of. The other day I mentioned "Joan Baez" in my office. Three people under age 35 "never heard of her". Is it just me, or is this evidence that we are in serious trouble?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFvkhzkS4bw&feature=related When I was a kid, my mom took guitar lessons. She wanted to play and sing like Joan Baez, and to my recollection, she did a good job of it.
Bonus clip: I love this song, Diamonds and Rust....it's about Bob Dylan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMHSbcd_qI&feature=related
I am usually a big fan of "cover" versions of songs, but I don't know about the Judas Priest version of Diamonds and Rust http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIC7KQPDuDc&feature=related
Last topic for today. The Mets are fun this year. They fight hard and they have some nice players. It should be a great summer.
http://www.soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/13/vuvuzela-ban-could-come-to-world-cup/
Another thing about the World Cup. I kind of like the smug and well spoken British announcers. They announce the games like a golf match.
Last thing about the World Cup, and soccer in general. As a spectator sport, and a sport to talk about during a game, and for strategy.....gimme BASEBALL. Not even close.
Next topic - gulf oil spill. Man, there's a lot of oil down there! I don't understand the geology of how so much is shooting out of there for so long. Is this a typical well? An amazing well? How long would it have taken to "harvest" all the oil that's shooting out of there, had it not blown up? When I was in law school in Texas, a popular elective was "O&G" (oil & gas). I didn't take that class because I didn't see much use for it in Queens, but now I wish I knew the answers to my questions. All I really know about O&G is what I learned from the Beverly Hillbillies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOGM6gHvao
While I was "researching" the Beverly Hillbillies, I came across the theme from another cool show. All I can say is...they don't make em like this any more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4&feature=related
I'm always interested in what historical or cultural things people of different ages are aware of. The other day I mentioned "Joan Baez" in my office. Three people under age 35 "never heard of her". Is it just me, or is this evidence that we are in serious trouble?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFvkhzkS4bw&feature=related When I was a kid, my mom took guitar lessons. She wanted to play and sing like Joan Baez, and to my recollection, she did a good job of it.
Bonus clip: I love this song, Diamonds and Rust....it's about Bob Dylan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMHSbcd_qI&feature=related
I am usually a big fan of "cover" versions of songs, but I don't know about the Judas Priest version of Diamonds and Rust http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIC7KQPDuDc&feature=related
Last topic for today. The Mets are fun this year. They fight hard and they have some nice players. It should be a great summer.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Who Should Really Make a Will?
The answer to this question starts with a question.....
"Who would inherit from you if you did not make a Will?"
When I interview someone who wants to make a Will, the first group of questions I ask is THAT. There is a good reason I start with this. It usually lets me know who the "players" are. Not only that, later on, the people on my little family tree are the people who must be notified when I try to probate the will.
People are sometimes taken aback when I start off questioning them about their closest family members, and sometimes they even say "But I don't want those people in my Will". This is fine with me, but I still have to know who they are. This is because anyone who would inherit if there were no will, is someone I have to notify when the Will is being probated. Legally, we call these people "adversely affected" by the Will. They are the only people who have standing to contest a Will. Even if they are not going to be in the Will, I need to know who they are. If it's a close relation, say a child or a sibling, I will usually ask WHY they are being left out, and I make a written note of it in my file.
When somebody is left out and squawks after the person dies, having a note about it in the drafting attorneys file is VERY important. When I represent someone in a potential will contest, one thing I hate to see is a note in the drafting attorneys file explaining WHY the person is being left out. If I see this it is usually enough reason for me not to take on the will contest.
I am amazed at how often people do not consider the question "Who would inherit from me if I did not make a Will?" The place I usually see this is Estates where there is no Will, and distant relatives are inheriting. I see this often, sometimes with a lot of money involved, and I always think "Did the person never think of what the result of not making a Will would be?" "Could they have intended THIS?" Did they not have a friend or a charity that was more deserving than the cousin once removed (who never met the decedent)?
Think this never happens?
I GET THESE ALL THE TIME!!!
I frequently represent distant relatives in this position, and this is often a major score for them. I like these cases too, but at some point in the case it always occurs to me (and it sometimes occurs to people who actually knew the decedent) "they should have made a Will".
I have also had many cases where people told me "the decedent talked about making a Will", or "he told me he was going to make a Will", but for some reason they never did. I think there are several reasons for this....
Procrastination - an intent to do it in the future, and just not dealing with it.
Superstition - a fear that doing it will cause illness or death.
Cheapness - not wanting to pay for a Will.
Delusions of immortality - more people have this than one might think.
Monumental inconsiderateness - totally not caring what happens to others after you go.
Strangely, Wills are most often made by people in a tight nuclear family....say a married couple with two children. There are good reasons for such people to make Wills too, but the fact is, the results if they don't are not so different then if they do.
People who don't or can't ask the question "Who would inherit from me you if I did not make a Will?" are often some combo of cheap, procrastinating, superstitious, monumentally inconsiderate, and/or delusional (vis a vis their mortality) individuals. I don't mind this all that much, these end up being my largest fee cases, but.....it sure is puzzling.
Maybe they "just can't deal with it", and on many levels I understand and respect this. I also know that if you are the person someone SHOULD be putting in their Will, it is a difficult subject to bring up. I've had people ask me what to do in this situation. Not only is there is no easy answer, but every situation is unique.
I will say this.....if the person has talked about it, and you think they WANT to do it, help them get it done. But, as we say in poker, don't overplay your hand.
Yeah, this gets complicated. But not nearly as complicated as when procrastination wins out, and the person who should have made a will doesn't.
Next post - something not death related!!
"Who would inherit from you if you did not make a Will?"
When I interview someone who wants to make a Will, the first group of questions I ask is THAT. There is a good reason I start with this. It usually lets me know who the "players" are. Not only that, later on, the people on my little family tree are the people who must be notified when I try to probate the will.
People are sometimes taken aback when I start off questioning them about their closest family members, and sometimes they even say "But I don't want those people in my Will". This is fine with me, but I still have to know who they are. This is because anyone who would inherit if there were no will, is someone I have to notify when the Will is being probated. Legally, we call these people "adversely affected" by the Will. They are the only people who have standing to contest a Will. Even if they are not going to be in the Will, I need to know who they are. If it's a close relation, say a child or a sibling, I will usually ask WHY they are being left out, and I make a written note of it in my file.
When somebody is left out and squawks after the person dies, having a note about it in the drafting attorneys file is VERY important. When I represent someone in a potential will contest, one thing I hate to see is a note in the drafting attorneys file explaining WHY the person is being left out. If I see this it is usually enough reason for me not to take on the will contest.
I am amazed at how often people do not consider the question "Who would inherit from me if I did not make a Will?" The place I usually see this is Estates where there is no Will, and distant relatives are inheriting. I see this often, sometimes with a lot of money involved, and I always think "Did the person never think of what the result of not making a Will would be?" "Could they have intended THIS?" Did they not have a friend or a charity that was more deserving than the cousin once removed (who never met the decedent)?
Think this never happens?
I GET THESE ALL THE TIME!!!
I frequently represent distant relatives in this position, and this is often a major score for them. I like these cases too, but at some point in the case it always occurs to me (and it sometimes occurs to people who actually knew the decedent) "they should have made a Will".
I have also had many cases where people told me "the decedent talked about making a Will", or "he told me he was going to make a Will", but for some reason they never did. I think there are several reasons for this....
Procrastination - an intent to do it in the future, and just not dealing with it.
Superstition - a fear that doing it will cause illness or death.
Cheapness - not wanting to pay for a Will.
Delusions of immortality - more people have this than one might think.
Monumental inconsiderateness - totally not caring what happens to others after you go.
Strangely, Wills are most often made by people in a tight nuclear family....say a married couple with two children. There are good reasons for such people to make Wills too, but the fact is, the results if they don't are not so different then if they do.
People who don't or can't ask the question "Who would inherit from me you if I did not make a Will?" are often some combo of cheap, procrastinating, superstitious, monumentally inconsiderate, and/or delusional (vis a vis their mortality) individuals. I don't mind this all that much, these end up being my largest fee cases, but.....it sure is puzzling.
Maybe they "just can't deal with it", and on many levels I understand and respect this. I also know that if you are the person someone SHOULD be putting in their Will, it is a difficult subject to bring up. I've had people ask me what to do in this situation. Not only is there is no easy answer, but every situation is unique.
I will say this.....if the person has talked about it, and you think they WANT to do it, help them get it done. But, as we say in poker, don't overplay your hand.
Yeah, this gets complicated. But not nearly as complicated as when procrastination wins out, and the person who should have made a will doesn't.
Next post - something not death related!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
So and So Died, and....
Every case has a story, a set of facts that answer the question "What is this about?"
That is always the first question. The first question I ask a new client. It's the first question I address when telling an associate or paralegal or secretary about a new matter, and the first question judges ask whenever you appear in court.
In the last few years I've been doing a lot of probate and estate administration cases. I always had a few of these in general practice, and was surprised how much I liked them. Sometimes when I tell people I do "probate and estate administration" they say "Oh, estate planning?" Well....no, the cases I work on are usually cases where they did not do any fancy estate planning, and then....they died. This turns out to be most cases where people die, and since none of us is getting out of here alive (something I have said to clients many times, only to have them look at me like I had said something either incredibly stupid, or quite profound), it seemed like it might be a law practice growth field.
It is also sufficiently complicated that every lawyer is not trying to get into it (I like to think it's because of the complexity, but perhaps other lawyers find it distasteful). I find it challenging and not distasteful. I even find there is something satisfying in bringing a successful completion to someone's affairs. So, I now focus most of my attention on these cases, and have set up a probate website www.queensprobate.com. Now I have an office full of cases where the answer to the question "What is this about?" is always the same....
"So-and-so died, and......"
Thus begins a probate and estate administration case. In New York, probate means there is a will, estate administration means there isn't. Either way the dead person's assets are going SOMEWHERE. Ah, but where, and how, and who is involved, and what's going to happen?
Although the stories all start out the same (somebody died and...), after that it is never the same. Sometimes all falls into place, everybody is lovey-dovey, and it's just a matter of knowing what papers to file. Sometimes these cases are dysfunctional family feuds, with acrimony and bitterness that would humble the worst matrimonial case. If there are anger, jealousy, and other toxic emotions involved in a contested matrimonial, contested estate matters have that and more. It is not uncommon to find that not only is there anger, jealousy and other toxic emotions existing among numerous family members(generally the children of an older person), but that none of it has been talked about, often for 30 years or more. Then, the dreaded unspoken about thing happens (so and so dies), and now all the things that have not been talked about MUST be talked about. It would be easy to say that these cases all come down to money, and many of them do, but it is also money infused with deep-seated emotional and psychological issues.
I stopped doing matrimonial cases many years ago, precisely because I did not like being involved in such bitterness. One of the things I hated about matrimonial cases was, they never ended. The parties were always coming back for more. Estates are not like that. Even when they are crazy and bitter, at some point they end, the dead remain dead, and the living move on. And no matter what they did during the case, as they fought over their relatives money, none of them are getting out of here alive either.
Perhaps I love the ultimate justice of this area of practice.
Tomorrow - surprising answers to the question "Who should really make a Will?"
That is always the first question. The first question I ask a new client. It's the first question I address when telling an associate or paralegal or secretary about a new matter, and the first question judges ask whenever you appear in court.
In the last few years I've been doing a lot of probate and estate administration cases. I always had a few of these in general practice, and was surprised how much I liked them. Sometimes when I tell people I do "probate and estate administration" they say "Oh, estate planning?" Well....no, the cases I work on are usually cases where they did not do any fancy estate planning, and then....they died. This turns out to be most cases where people die, and since none of us is getting out of here alive (something I have said to clients many times, only to have them look at me like I had said something either incredibly stupid, or quite profound), it seemed like it might be a law practice growth field.
It is also sufficiently complicated that every lawyer is not trying to get into it (I like to think it's because of the complexity, but perhaps other lawyers find it distasteful). I find it challenging and not distasteful. I even find there is something satisfying in bringing a successful completion to someone's affairs. So, I now focus most of my attention on these cases, and have set up a probate website www.queensprobate.com. Now I have an office full of cases where the answer to the question "What is this about?" is always the same....
"So-and-so died, and......"
Thus begins a probate and estate administration case. In New York, probate means there is a will, estate administration means there isn't. Either way the dead person's assets are going SOMEWHERE. Ah, but where, and how, and who is involved, and what's going to happen?
Although the stories all start out the same (somebody died and...), after that it is never the same. Sometimes all falls into place, everybody is lovey-dovey, and it's just a matter of knowing what papers to file. Sometimes these cases are dysfunctional family feuds, with acrimony and bitterness that would humble the worst matrimonial case. If there are anger, jealousy, and other toxic emotions involved in a contested matrimonial, contested estate matters have that and more. It is not uncommon to find that not only is there anger, jealousy and other toxic emotions existing among numerous family members(generally the children of an older person), but that none of it has been talked about, often for 30 years or more. Then, the dreaded unspoken about thing happens (so and so dies), and now all the things that have not been talked about MUST be talked about. It would be easy to say that these cases all come down to money, and many of them do, but it is also money infused with deep-seated emotional and psychological issues.
I stopped doing matrimonial cases many years ago, precisely because I did not like being involved in such bitterness. One of the things I hated about matrimonial cases was, they never ended. The parties were always coming back for more. Estates are not like that. Even when they are crazy and bitter, at some point they end, the dead remain dead, and the living move on. And no matter what they did during the case, as they fought over their relatives money, none of them are getting out of here alive either.
Perhaps I love the ultimate justice of this area of practice.
Tomorrow - surprising answers to the question "Who should really make a Will?"
Monday, April 26, 2010
Eulogy for Manny Seidel
About 4 years ago Joan made an 80th birthday party for Manny, in Florida. It was a nice party, with a lot of people who knew Manny, but who probably didn’t know much about him, since he was not one to talk much about himself. So, I took the opportunity to make a little speech, telling a few stories and saying some complimentary things about him. Afterwards, he came over to me and said, “That was really nice…..I hope you saved something for the eulogy”.
Dad – Here’s the stuff I saved for the eulogy…..
Manny was born in the Bronx in 1926, the youngest of 7 children. His father was a carpenter by trade, but Dad never knew him because he died when Manny was only a year old. His two older brothers, Philip and Arthur, were much older than him, and were married and out of the house during his childhood. Three of his sisters, Rose, Betty and Anna, were closer to him in age, and I think it is accurate to say he was raised by his mother (who did not speak English, just Yiddish) and his three sisters. Having known Aunt Rose, Aunt Betty and Aunt Anna, I know there was no shortage of talking going on in the house. I guess Manny HAD to be a good listener, and he was, but he also learned how to carry on a great conversation. He has always been someone you could talk to about anything and everything.
Manny is the last of his brothers and sisters to pass. I did a little math – the descendants of the 7 Seidel children total approximately 90 (I could be a little off because I don’t speak to cousin Naomi as often as I’d like) More than one of my cousins has noted that Manny was the “Last of the Mohicans”. I think his passing brings forth memories of all our parents, and all the times, good and bad, that we shared. Now our generation is at the top of the ladder. We accept this, knowing we were shown the proper way by outstanding people.
Although Manny was not a bad student, he dropped out of high school to go to work. As a teenager, in addition to working, he helped care for his mother, who had a chronic bleeding condition. One of the things he attended to on a regular basis was paying his mother’s debt to the blood bank, by going down to the Bowery and paying bums $5 for blood donations. When he would tell me about this, in vivid detail, it sounded like something out of a Charles Dickens novel. The last time he told me about it, I thought about a few things……one, from the details of the story, it was surely true; two, I always thought of it being a “story”, but when I realized it was not just a story but a part of his teenaged life (that he was still talking about 70 years later) it struck me how difficult his childhood and teenaged years really were.
Having grown up without a father……..being a good father was VERY important to him. He had no role model, so he always did what he thought a good father should do……teach your children how to do things, and show them proper values. A lot of people know that Manny was a very active coach for Brian and I, in Little League and other organized sports. What people may not know, is that when he was a coach, he wasn’t there just to coach US, he wanted to be the coach and father figure to ALL the boys on the team. He especially gravitated to boys who either didn’t have a father at home, or whose father was not coming to the games. If anyone ever thought that Manny played favorites with Brian and I when he was a coach, nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, and he would often say this, he went out of his way to coach ALL the boys,
I am convinced that he stayed at a certain crummy, low-paying job because it had one nice perk…..a light blue van that he was allowed to take home on weekends. This was of course used to take entire teams to our baseball games. Manny was in his glory when we took that van and picked up 5 or 6 boys on the way to Kissena Park or Park Drive East or wherever we played.
I wanted to say something appropriate about my Mom, and Dad’s married life with her. When you look back at something, how you process your thoughts and memories becomes the truth. Something my parents had in common (which I am glad I learned) was the ability to focus on the positive. So, while one could simply recall that my parents had problems they could not resolve, and that they were divorced after 20 years, neither of them would say it that way, and neither would I. I remember our house being happy and full of love. I know Manny remembered it that way, and after he and I talked about it a few times, I knew I wasn’t engaging in wistful recollection, it was true.
Dad placed a high value on what he called “brothers acting like brothers”. There were few things he preached about, but this was something Brian and I always knew was important to him….the idea that brothers should stick together and help each other. It would be inconceivable to either one of us not to abide by this.
I know how proud Manny was of all Brian’s accomplishments . We have a little private family joke that in Florida, I’m known as “the other son”. When I made this observation the first time, Dad got a little flustered and said, “You know I’m proud of you too, right?” Trust me Dad, I knew it.
We experienced some of the greatest times and memories together……I remember driving to Pocono Downs for Brian’s first win as a trainer, it was a rainy night and the horse (Master Vilas) won by a large margin. In the picture of the horses coming down the stretch, you can see Manny and I running through the stands like two lunatics.
Some of our horse adventures weren’t so much fun when they happened, especially the time Manny and I were driving to Delaware to watch the immortal horse “El-Pace-O-Widow” race at Dover Downs. While driving on 95 South in Jersey, the hood on one of Manny’s old bomb cars flew open in our faces, forcing us to drive while looking out the sides around it. We got to Dover Downs after 5 hours, the horse broke at the start, and we turned around and drove back. I wouldn’t trade a day like that for anything
Manny was never a person who was defined by his career, and in some ways I think he was disappointed in himself. During his life he was an assistant to the owner of a high-end furniture company, a warehouse manager, a shipping clerk in the garment center, and then in Florida he was a security guard (the two high points of this job were that the golfer Bernhard Langer lived in the development and knew Manny’s name, and that he once rescued a dog from a ditch). In Florida he also worked at an eye hospital, driving people home after surgery, and he worked for an auto mechanic, driving customers to work and helping out in the shop. He once told me it bothered him that he was not “successful”. I had an easy answer to that one, which was it depends how you define “success”, and I proceeded to describe a long list of his successes. We had this conversation more than once, and I do think he came to know it was true. If I helped him to see this, I am eternally thankful.
Manny was very proud of his role in Joan’s family. Jeff and Debbie were adults when he became part of their family, and I know (because he told me) that he knew he would never replace someone’s father, nor would he want to. He only wanted to be there in any way that he could. However, he had no hesitation being the grandpa to Brian, Rachel and Elisa, and a great-grandpa to their children. He loved being with them, talking about them, and doing things with them. And just like when I was a kid, I never minded sharing him.
Brian and I have tremendous gratitude to Joan, for making Manny happy for so many years, and for giving him the type of life he would never have otherwise had. He loved living (and working) in Florida, having friends, playing tennis, playing golf, going to movies and shows, rooting for the Marlins (I learned to accept this) going on cruises and trips, and being a part of someone else’s life and having her be a part of his.
Many of you know that in December, Manny, Brian and I took a trip to Las Vegas together. Besides the laughs, and the gambling, and the shows, and the meals, there are a few things about it that I did not realize would be so meaningful. The itinerary was for Brian to spend a few days with Dad in Florida, then they’d fly together to Vegas, where I would meet them. Manny and Brian had a great time together in Florida. While we were in Vegas, Brian’s daughter Robin drove in from LA, and we shared a nice dinner and breakfast the next day. After the trip, Manny stayed with us in New York for a few days, and it was nice and relaxing. The entire trip was conceived as one of those “I don’t want to some day say I shoulda” situations, and the feeling now, having done it, is beyond words. All I can say is, if you are ever in that situation, and you think you SHOULD do it….DO IT
When Manny stayed with us the last time, I noticed what a real bond he had with Felicia, and Emilie, and Rebecca. He thought the world of Felicia, and was in awe of everything Emilie and Rebecca were doing. Girls…..Pop-Pop will always be a part of who you are. It made me so happy to see that my girls really GOT what Manny is all about. I am proud that they know, and value, the things that really count.
OK……..so……..I want to be a “real” writer, and do something real writers do, a reading of my work to an audience. I haven’t done that ……. YET, ……..but yet is now……so thank you Dad, for not only giving me inspiration, and giving me great material, thank you for giving me a captive audience for my reading……
This is called "Going to Aqueduct with Dad"
Every May, I watch (and bet on) The Kentucky Derby. It's my favorite sporting event of the year. Better than the Super Bowl, better than the Final Four. I don’t watch the two hour pre-race build-up, I read a few stories in The Post, call up Dad to see who he likes, then bet my selections, and watch the race. I've hit a few nice longshots over the years, most notably Charismatic and Monarchos.
My love of horseracing started with....
GOING TO AQUEDUCT WITH DAD
Sometimes on a Saturday, my Dad would suggest that he and I "head over to The Big A". Since I was only 7 years old, he wasn't saying this to me, he was saying it to my Mom. I wonder if taking me along made this activity more palatable to her. The first few times he said it, I worried that she would say no, but she never did. After a few times, I knew that when he suggested it, we were going.
The Big A is "Aqueduct", a race track in Ozone Park, Queens. It's where the thoroughbreds race in New York when they are not at Belmont or Saratoga. A workingman's racetrack.
We never parked in the parking lot, always in the street about a mile away. "Why should we pay to park?", my Dad said. So we walked through Ozone Park, past little houses and Italian grocery stores. When we got inside, Dad bought a program and a Daily Racing Form. The program was small but impressive, it gave you the basic information about each race: the horse names and post positions, the trainers, the owners, the jockeys (including their weights and "colors"). Dad told me that when we picked a horse to bet on, to remember the jockeys colors, especially his cap, so we could see him in the backstretch. There were 9 races a day, with about 24 minutes between races. We used that time to "study our selections". The program was just for looking, while the Daily Racing Form was for studying. It had tons more info than the program, including the charts of each horses prior races. I learned how to read it pretty well. You had to look at the distances, times, surfaces, class, weights, jockey changes, trainer changes, and many other factors. Both the program and the racing form had a little "map" showing you where the starting and finish line were for the particular distance. I always liked a 7 furlong race at Aqueduct, because the horses started "in the chute", and the chart showed that.
We always went and looked at the horses and jockeys in the walking ring, before they went on the track. There was a ritual to this. The horses would be walked around, while the jockeys would stand talking to the trainers. The jockeys would wear different colors for each race, with different colors for different parts of their attire, the program would tell you...."red cap, yellow sleeves, red sashes, polka dot hoops". I would always check that they had it right. Dad told me about some of the jockeys. Our favorite was Braulio Baeza. He was from Panama, and although I did not know it then, he was one of the greatest jockeys of all time. I only knew what Dad told me, "Look at Braulio Baeza, he sits on a horse straight and tall and proud. No other jockey sits like him." It was true.
I always looked at Braulio Baeza first, to make sure he was sitting straight and tall. The other jockey I liked was Manuel Ycaza. There were three reasons I liked him. People called him "Manny", his last name started with a "Y", and he rode aggressively. Several times I read in the racing form that he was suspended for "rough riding". I always hoped to see a race where he did that. According to my Dad, some jockeys were "good on the turf", some were better with sprinters than closers, and some jockeys rode well for certain trainers. Who knew if any of this were true? Who cared? When the horses were ready to go on the track, the jockeys would walk over to their horses, and a booming voice would call out "Put your riders up, please." At that moment all the trainers would give their jockeys "a leg up" and hoist them up on the horse. Then they would walk once around the walking ring and head to the track.....to the sound of the bugle.
We would follow, Dad would "make his wager", and then we would watch the race from our special vantage point. We had a stairway bannister leading to the upper grandstand. It was right on the finish line, and we would stand on the bannister and look over with a perfect view. I stood near the top, with Dad to my left, a little further down the bannister. We would wait for the magical voice of the track announcer, Fred Caposella, to say "It is now post time". And then we would watch the race and hopefully root our horse in.
In horse racing, you can't win every time. In fact, it's difficult if not impossible to win in the long run. We took our defeats in stride, and felt pride in our winners.
The experiences of going to Aqueduct with Dad have stayed with me....... Whenever I visited Dad in Florida, we always went to the track....there's a shocker. When I pick horses now, I focus on the jockeys, though I have never liked any as much as I liked Braulio Baeza and Manny Ycaza.When I take Rebecca to Met games, we park on the street in Corona, and walk a mile to the stadium, past little houses and bodegas. I'm not paying $18 to park, and for some strange reason, this feels like the right thing to do.
When it's the first Saturday in May, I watch the Kentucky Derby. And I always will…..and root my horses in with Dad.
Dad – Here’s the stuff I saved for the eulogy…..
Manny was born in the Bronx in 1926, the youngest of 7 children. His father was a carpenter by trade, but Dad never knew him because he died when Manny was only a year old. His two older brothers, Philip and Arthur, were much older than him, and were married and out of the house during his childhood. Three of his sisters, Rose, Betty and Anna, were closer to him in age, and I think it is accurate to say he was raised by his mother (who did not speak English, just Yiddish) and his three sisters. Having known Aunt Rose, Aunt Betty and Aunt Anna, I know there was no shortage of talking going on in the house. I guess Manny HAD to be a good listener, and he was, but he also learned how to carry on a great conversation. He has always been someone you could talk to about anything and everything.
Manny is the last of his brothers and sisters to pass. I did a little math – the descendants of the 7 Seidel children total approximately 90 (I could be a little off because I don’t speak to cousin Naomi as often as I’d like) More than one of my cousins has noted that Manny was the “Last of the Mohicans”. I think his passing brings forth memories of all our parents, and all the times, good and bad, that we shared. Now our generation is at the top of the ladder. We accept this, knowing we were shown the proper way by outstanding people.
Although Manny was not a bad student, he dropped out of high school to go to work. As a teenager, in addition to working, he helped care for his mother, who had a chronic bleeding condition. One of the things he attended to on a regular basis was paying his mother’s debt to the blood bank, by going down to the Bowery and paying bums $5 for blood donations. When he would tell me about this, in vivid detail, it sounded like something out of a Charles Dickens novel. The last time he told me about it, I thought about a few things……one, from the details of the story, it was surely true; two, I always thought of it being a “story”, but when I realized it was not just a story but a part of his teenaged life (that he was still talking about 70 years later) it struck me how difficult his childhood and teenaged years really were.
Having grown up without a father……..being a good father was VERY important to him. He had no role model, so he always did what he thought a good father should do……teach your children how to do things, and show them proper values. A lot of people know that Manny was a very active coach for Brian and I, in Little League and other organized sports. What people may not know, is that when he was a coach, he wasn’t there just to coach US, he wanted to be the coach and father figure to ALL the boys on the team. He especially gravitated to boys who either didn’t have a father at home, or whose father was not coming to the games. If anyone ever thought that Manny played favorites with Brian and I when he was a coach, nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, and he would often say this, he went out of his way to coach ALL the boys,
I am convinced that he stayed at a certain crummy, low-paying job because it had one nice perk…..a light blue van that he was allowed to take home on weekends. This was of course used to take entire teams to our baseball games. Manny was in his glory when we took that van and picked up 5 or 6 boys on the way to Kissena Park or Park Drive East or wherever we played.
I wanted to say something appropriate about my Mom, and Dad’s married life with her. When you look back at something, how you process your thoughts and memories becomes the truth. Something my parents had in common (which I am glad I learned) was the ability to focus on the positive. So, while one could simply recall that my parents had problems they could not resolve, and that they were divorced after 20 years, neither of them would say it that way, and neither would I. I remember our house being happy and full of love. I know Manny remembered it that way, and after he and I talked about it a few times, I knew I wasn’t engaging in wistful recollection, it was true.
Dad placed a high value on what he called “brothers acting like brothers”. There were few things he preached about, but this was something Brian and I always knew was important to him….the idea that brothers should stick together and help each other. It would be inconceivable to either one of us not to abide by this.
I know how proud Manny was of all Brian’s accomplishments . We have a little private family joke that in Florida, I’m known as “the other son”. When I made this observation the first time, Dad got a little flustered and said, “You know I’m proud of you too, right?” Trust me Dad, I knew it.
We experienced some of the greatest times and memories together……I remember driving to Pocono Downs for Brian’s first win as a trainer, it was a rainy night and the horse (Master Vilas) won by a large margin. In the picture of the horses coming down the stretch, you can see Manny and I running through the stands like two lunatics.
Some of our horse adventures weren’t so much fun when they happened, especially the time Manny and I were driving to Delaware to watch the immortal horse “El-Pace-O-Widow” race at Dover Downs. While driving on 95 South in Jersey, the hood on one of Manny’s old bomb cars flew open in our faces, forcing us to drive while looking out the sides around it. We got to Dover Downs after 5 hours, the horse broke at the start, and we turned around and drove back. I wouldn’t trade a day like that for anything
Manny was never a person who was defined by his career, and in some ways I think he was disappointed in himself. During his life he was an assistant to the owner of a high-end furniture company, a warehouse manager, a shipping clerk in the garment center, and then in Florida he was a security guard (the two high points of this job were that the golfer Bernhard Langer lived in the development and knew Manny’s name, and that he once rescued a dog from a ditch). In Florida he also worked at an eye hospital, driving people home after surgery, and he worked for an auto mechanic, driving customers to work and helping out in the shop. He once told me it bothered him that he was not “successful”. I had an easy answer to that one, which was it depends how you define “success”, and I proceeded to describe a long list of his successes. We had this conversation more than once, and I do think he came to know it was true. If I helped him to see this, I am eternally thankful.
Manny was very proud of his role in Joan’s family. Jeff and Debbie were adults when he became part of their family, and I know (because he told me) that he knew he would never replace someone’s father, nor would he want to. He only wanted to be there in any way that he could. However, he had no hesitation being the grandpa to Brian, Rachel and Elisa, and a great-grandpa to their children. He loved being with them, talking about them, and doing things with them. And just like when I was a kid, I never minded sharing him.
Brian and I have tremendous gratitude to Joan, for making Manny happy for so many years, and for giving him the type of life he would never have otherwise had. He loved living (and working) in Florida, having friends, playing tennis, playing golf, going to movies and shows, rooting for the Marlins (I learned to accept this) going on cruises and trips, and being a part of someone else’s life and having her be a part of his.
Many of you know that in December, Manny, Brian and I took a trip to Las Vegas together. Besides the laughs, and the gambling, and the shows, and the meals, there are a few things about it that I did not realize would be so meaningful. The itinerary was for Brian to spend a few days with Dad in Florida, then they’d fly together to Vegas, where I would meet them. Manny and Brian had a great time together in Florida. While we were in Vegas, Brian’s daughter Robin drove in from LA, and we shared a nice dinner and breakfast the next day. After the trip, Manny stayed with us in New York for a few days, and it was nice and relaxing. The entire trip was conceived as one of those “I don’t want to some day say I shoulda” situations, and the feeling now, having done it, is beyond words. All I can say is, if you are ever in that situation, and you think you SHOULD do it….DO IT
When Manny stayed with us the last time, I noticed what a real bond he had with Felicia, and Emilie, and Rebecca. He thought the world of Felicia, and was in awe of everything Emilie and Rebecca were doing. Girls…..Pop-Pop will always be a part of who you are. It made me so happy to see that my girls really GOT what Manny is all about. I am proud that they know, and value, the things that really count.
OK……..so……..I want to be a “real” writer, and do something real writers do, a reading of my work to an audience. I haven’t done that ……. YET, ……..but yet is now……so thank you Dad, for not only giving me inspiration, and giving me great material, thank you for giving me a captive audience for my reading……
This is called "Going to Aqueduct with Dad"
Every May, I watch (and bet on) The Kentucky Derby. It's my favorite sporting event of the year. Better than the Super Bowl, better than the Final Four. I don’t watch the two hour pre-race build-up, I read a few stories in The Post, call up Dad to see who he likes, then bet my selections, and watch the race. I've hit a few nice longshots over the years, most notably Charismatic and Monarchos.
My love of horseracing started with....
GOING TO AQUEDUCT WITH DAD
Sometimes on a Saturday, my Dad would suggest that he and I "head over to The Big A". Since I was only 7 years old, he wasn't saying this to me, he was saying it to my Mom. I wonder if taking me along made this activity more palatable to her. The first few times he said it, I worried that she would say no, but she never did. After a few times, I knew that when he suggested it, we were going.
The Big A is "Aqueduct", a race track in Ozone Park, Queens. It's where the thoroughbreds race in New York when they are not at Belmont or Saratoga. A workingman's racetrack.
We never parked in the parking lot, always in the street about a mile away. "Why should we pay to park?", my Dad said. So we walked through Ozone Park, past little houses and Italian grocery stores. When we got inside, Dad bought a program and a Daily Racing Form. The program was small but impressive, it gave you the basic information about each race: the horse names and post positions, the trainers, the owners, the jockeys (including their weights and "colors"). Dad told me that when we picked a horse to bet on, to remember the jockeys colors, especially his cap, so we could see him in the backstretch. There were 9 races a day, with about 24 minutes between races. We used that time to "study our selections". The program was just for looking, while the Daily Racing Form was for studying. It had tons more info than the program, including the charts of each horses prior races. I learned how to read it pretty well. You had to look at the distances, times, surfaces, class, weights, jockey changes, trainer changes, and many other factors. Both the program and the racing form had a little "map" showing you where the starting and finish line were for the particular distance. I always liked a 7 furlong race at Aqueduct, because the horses started "in the chute", and the chart showed that.
We always went and looked at the horses and jockeys in the walking ring, before they went on the track. There was a ritual to this. The horses would be walked around, while the jockeys would stand talking to the trainers. The jockeys would wear different colors for each race, with different colors for different parts of their attire, the program would tell you...."red cap, yellow sleeves, red sashes, polka dot hoops". I would always check that they had it right. Dad told me about some of the jockeys. Our favorite was Braulio Baeza. He was from Panama, and although I did not know it then, he was one of the greatest jockeys of all time. I only knew what Dad told me, "Look at Braulio Baeza, he sits on a horse straight and tall and proud. No other jockey sits like him." It was true.
I always looked at Braulio Baeza first, to make sure he was sitting straight and tall. The other jockey I liked was Manuel Ycaza. There were three reasons I liked him. People called him "Manny", his last name started with a "Y", and he rode aggressively. Several times I read in the racing form that he was suspended for "rough riding". I always hoped to see a race where he did that. According to my Dad, some jockeys were "good on the turf", some were better with sprinters than closers, and some jockeys rode well for certain trainers. Who knew if any of this were true? Who cared? When the horses were ready to go on the track, the jockeys would walk over to their horses, and a booming voice would call out "Put your riders up, please." At that moment all the trainers would give their jockeys "a leg up" and hoist them up on the horse. Then they would walk once around the walking ring and head to the track.....to the sound of the bugle.
We would follow, Dad would "make his wager", and then we would watch the race from our special vantage point. We had a stairway bannister leading to the upper grandstand. It was right on the finish line, and we would stand on the bannister and look over with a perfect view. I stood near the top, with Dad to my left, a little further down the bannister. We would wait for the magical voice of the track announcer, Fred Caposella, to say "It is now post time". And then we would watch the race and hopefully root our horse in.
In horse racing, you can't win every time. In fact, it's difficult if not impossible to win in the long run. We took our defeats in stride, and felt pride in our winners.
The experiences of going to Aqueduct with Dad have stayed with me....... Whenever I visited Dad in Florida, we always went to the track....there's a shocker. When I pick horses now, I focus on the jockeys, though I have never liked any as much as I liked Braulio Baeza and Manny Ycaza.When I take Rebecca to Met games, we park on the street in Corona, and walk a mile to the stadium, past little houses and bodegas. I'm not paying $18 to park, and for some strange reason, this feels like the right thing to do.
When it's the first Saturday in May, I watch the Kentucky Derby. And I always will…..and root my horses in with Dad.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Felicia's Eulogy for Manny Seidel
The night before Dad's funeral, while I was working on my eulogy, Felicia told me she was thinking of doing one too. I was surprised, pleased, and very proud that she wanted to do this. We kicked around a few ideas and themes, so we would not be repetitive, and agreed not to edit each other, but to hear them for the first time as they were read. This is what she said....
FELICIA'S EULOGY FOR MANNY SEIDEL
I just wanted to say a few things and then I will let my eloquent husband deliver the eulogy for Manny. As most of you know I have known Barry for a very long time, and over the years I have been so fortunate to witness a very special relationship between the boys, Barry, Brian and Manny. The love and respect and fun and laughs they had with each other was amazing. You don't see relationships like that very often.
In December the three of them got together for a trip to Las Vegas. Manny and Brian had never been to Vegas and they had a terrific time together, seeing shows, eating, and of course gambling. They had been planning to plan this trip for quite a while - it was great that they finally stopped planning and actually took this very special trip. Barry wrote all about the trip on his blog, and let me note that Manny has been one of Barry's favorite blog topics. He has written about him 11 times.
After Vegas Manny stayed in our house for a few days before going back to Florida. He spent time with me and Emilie and Rebecca. We enjoyed cake and coffee (he loved cake), and we talked about all kinds of things. We are so grateful for that time - we had no idea it would be the last time we would see him.
I would like to share something.......About 4 or 5 years ago, close to Barry's birthday, Manny and Barry were having one of their long telephone conversations. Manny said something like "You know if I don't send birthday cards that doesn't mean I don't love you - You understand that I just have never sent cards." Barry proceeded to tell Manny about his most recent blog piece, called "The Power of Yet", which talks about the most powerful three letter word in the English language - Y-E-T. The main idea is that if you have negative or limiting thoughts, like "I don't exercise" or "I don't know how to use a computer" - if you add YET to that sentence it opens a world of possibilities. Barry suggested to Manny that maybe he just didn't send cards YET. Then they continued to talk about other things. A few days later, on Barry's birthday, he received a handpicked card from Manny, with baseball pictures on the front, and inside Manny wrote "Dear Barry - YET IS NOW".
FELICIA'S EULOGY FOR MANNY SEIDEL
I just wanted to say a few things and then I will let my eloquent husband deliver the eulogy for Manny. As most of you know I have known Barry for a very long time, and over the years I have been so fortunate to witness a very special relationship between the boys, Barry, Brian and Manny. The love and respect and fun and laughs they had with each other was amazing. You don't see relationships like that very often.
In December the three of them got together for a trip to Las Vegas. Manny and Brian had never been to Vegas and they had a terrific time together, seeing shows, eating, and of course gambling. They had been planning to plan this trip for quite a while - it was great that they finally stopped planning and actually took this very special trip. Barry wrote all about the trip on his blog, and let me note that Manny has been one of Barry's favorite blog topics. He has written about him 11 times.
After Vegas Manny stayed in our house for a few days before going back to Florida. He spent time with me and Emilie and Rebecca. We enjoyed cake and coffee (he loved cake), and we talked about all kinds of things. We are so grateful for that time - we had no idea it would be the last time we would see him.
I would like to share something.......About 4 or 5 years ago, close to Barry's birthday, Manny and Barry were having one of their long telephone conversations. Manny said something like "You know if I don't send birthday cards that doesn't mean I don't love you - You understand that I just have never sent cards." Barry proceeded to tell Manny about his most recent blog piece, called "The Power of Yet", which talks about the most powerful three letter word in the English language - Y-E-T. The main idea is that if you have negative or limiting thoughts, like "I don't exercise" or "I don't know how to use a computer" - if you add YET to that sentence it opens a world of possibilities. Barry suggested to Manny that maybe he just didn't send cards YET. Then they continued to talk about other things. A few days later, on Barry's birthday, he received a handpicked card from Manny, with baseball pictures on the front, and inside Manny wrote "Dear Barry - YET IS NOW".
Every subsequent year Barry has received cards on his birthday and as you can see he has saved them.
I was thinking of something philosophical to say to close, but I’m going to read from the inside of one of Manny's cards because I think this will sum up nicely......
"Dear Barry - From a Little League coach to coach for a goal in life - Yet is Now is good, but 3 keys to reaching your goal:
1. You must want to.
2. You must be consistent.
3. Set short term as well as long term goals.
Stolen directly from a diet.
Love - Pop Pop - The Old Dad - or Carmine -Take your choice."
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